Reality Check…Because Sometimes Weight Loss Will Eat Your Brain If You Let It

broken-scale-hammer
Last night I was goofing around and decided to figure out my daily weight loss since surgery. I’m stuck in a thyroid medication change stall…sigh…I don’t think we got it right this time but have to wait at least until 5 Sept to have another blood draw…grrr!!!! And you’d better believe it’s already programmed into my phone to be waiting at the doctor’s office when they open so they can take my blood…not that I think I would actually forget or anything.
 
Anyway, I actually prepared myself to be disappointed as I did the math because my efforts have not be rewarded since we changed my medication and there’s precisely zip I can do but wait…and make good choices, of course.
 
Do you want to know what my average DAILY weight loss is?
 
.36 POUNDS or 5.82 OUNCES
 
PER DAY!!!!!
 
Do you know what my weekly averages were before weight loss surgery?
 
.25 pounds or 4 ounces a WEEK and that came with long stalls (my longest was not quite 13 months) and so much more work than I’m doing now. Like I used to be seriously giddy to lose ounces a week. I remember weeks feeling like I was queen of the world to lose a half of a pound. On the few weeks when I lost a pound and the even fewer when I lost two pounds in the same week I was over the moon.
For over 10 years, this was my reality (It’s been 14 years since I started my healthy body journey but the few years when I was going through my chronic health diagnoses I wasn’t trying at all).
 
New reality…5.82 ounces per day!!!! Less than most meals.
 
Whoa!!! That’s frickin’ cool!!!
In case you need a reality check too:
 
To figure ounces per day….
Weight loss in pounds multiplied by 16 (the number of ounces in a pound), Take the total number of ounces and divide by the number of days it’s been since your surgery.
 
To figure pounds per day…
Pounds lost divided by number of days since surgery.
 
We all have those moments when we’re feeling like we’re not losing fast enough or we’re stuck in a stall and it can eat your brain if you let it.  Don’t let it!
The scale, and the number thereon, is not the end all be all of who you are.
It is an unfortunate measuring device that does not always speak the full truth.
I was nervous to do this but Holy Banana Tummy Batman this ended up being a HUGE reality check for me.
5.82 ounces per day…What the WHAT!!!!!
Now back to reality and the checking…
I know I’ll need to hold on to this as I sit here waiting for pages of the calendar to turn, for the lab results to come back, for the doctor and I to discuss them, for the pharmacy to fill the new prescription, and for at least another month to repeat this process all over again to make sure we’ve made the right adjustment…I am not a naturally patient woman…I’m going to need all the help I can get to endure potentially two more months of frustration…Sigh…someone give me a hammer!!!!

August Goals: Be The Moon

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My August plan is rather simple: Be The Moon.

No, I’m not sleep deprived.

Wait, yes I am but I thought of this before I woke up at 2 a.m.  So ppbbbttt!

Be the moon?  What does that mean?

The moon seems so mystical and mysterious but she’s really not.  She hangs out in the sky doing her job.  She orbits the Earth and in doing so she pulls the tides.  Her consistency is so predictable you can time her efforts.  The moon is never frittering around with things that don’t matter.  She knows her place in the Universe and she does her job.  Simple.

Be the moon!!!  I can do that.  I know the work.  I know I can do it.

Here’s how I am going to be the moon…

Liquids, minimum 80oz
Protein, minimum 70g
Fiber, minimum 20g
Supplements, daily
Prescriptions, daily
Movement, daily

That’s my job as a post-op weight loss surgery patient anyway, right?  Yes, right!

If I just produce my average results, I could hit 199.9 by the end of August.

But…199.9 is not my goal.

My goal is to be consistent.  Like the moon.

When I do it, goals are crushed.

That damned ol’ scale will fall but I don’t need to arrive at the end of the month at the same time as a particular number.  The number will happen…as long as I am consistent so the more predictable and moon-like I become the faster I’ll get to see it.  It’s not a race, however, it’s a commitment to doing all the little things.

Excuse me while I put myself into orbit…

The Great Fiber Experiment

I needed to pull myself out of a funk before I could focus on something specific for July.  It took a couple of days for me to decide I would do just one thing: focus on fiber.

Starting 4 July, I set a goal to get 20-25 grams of fiber each day.  It’s the only thing I was doing in the beginning that I’m was not doing well now.

I dunno what happened exactly…I do know when I ran out of my fiber gummies I did not rush out to buy more.  I do not have a good explanation other than I was solidly on solid food and much prefer to eat fiber.

When I was on liquids and purees, it was fully obvious fiber supplements were necessary so I’d pop a gummie or two with every ‘meal’ to help avoid constipation.  After I stopped taking pain meds, I was…NEVER…constipated.  But, somewhere in the transition to whole food I also stopped really looking on how many grams of fiber I was getting daily and supplementing when necessary.  Especially in June, I felt like I did little more than battle constipation.

*Shrugs*

There is a universal truth about the human body: It is only going to go along for so long without adequate fiber before becoming constipated.  It’s not a weight loss surgery thing.  It’s a body mechanics thing.

Why is fiber even important?

Aside from the colon and heart health aspect, fiber also helps post weight loss surgery bodies manage all the toxins which are released as our fat stores dwindle (Read more about body fat and toxin storage and elimination here).

If the toxins are not excreted as waste, they can actually build back up in the remaining fat and slow weight loss.  (Read more about that process here.)

However, now that we’ve had weight loss surgery fiber and the process of elimination becomes even more important.  The rate at which we lose fat means our bodies are processing a heavy toxic load.  If we’re not getting enough fiber, if we’re not having a good bowel movement at least daily; we’re frustrating the whole process of having weight loss surgery in the first place.

So how did The Great Fiber Experiment go?

I may have started the month unfunkifying myself and unfortuantely the need to do so followed me around like the proverbial black cloud of doom.

In July I…

  • Found out my surgeon is being investigated for insurance fraud
  • Which lead me to question my own bills where I easily found what had better be fraud
  • Because if he actually removed part of my colon then he’s also going be investigated for malpractice but even if he didn’t there’s a good chance I have a malpractice case anyway
  • Disputed all possible charges and started a fraud case with my insurance company
  • Searched for a malpractice attorney (still looking if you know a good one in Las Vegas)
  • Had an incident with not being able to swallow and spent a week of testing and not eating solids.  Results are inconclusive thus far
  • Found out my multivitamins were trying to kill me.  Nope, I’m not kidding.  Apparently the copper has been pooling in my blood and had we not caught it, it might have lead to liver failure or death.
  • And…sadly…that’s only the medical issues.

Was I able to stay to my July fiber goal of 20-25 grams daily?

Most days, yes.

The others, well I had great reason.  If I can’t swallow I’m not consuming much of anything so who cares if it has fiber.  I can forgive myself for that!!!

I also wanted to do this without adding gummies back to my shopping list.

However, in my extensive searching the internet and my food journal time and actually finding lots of ways to increase my fiber I stumbled on some really critical information.

Those little fiber gummies I stopped taking has the precise type of fiber recommended for gut health.

No, not all fiber is created equal.  There are three basic types and several sub-types each with their own function.

The inulin in my Fiber Advance gummies is the prebiotic, gut-healing type and since I have autoimmune disease this is the type I need to be consuming more than anything.

ALL–yes, I do mean ALL–weight loss happens in the gut.

Sick or struggling guts = Struggling weight loss

Here’s why I say that for MY body it totally matters:

March 8-30 (surgery date to the end of the month) 24.6 pounds!!!  Whoop, whoop
April: 8.3 pounds
May 6.2 pounds
June 6.9 pounds
July 8.2 pounds, 2.1 pounds in the last 7 days

I bet even you can tell when I stopped the gummies, started eating solid food, not getting enough of the right fiber, figured it out, and made a U-turn.

As you can see, I only figured out the inulin connection a week ago.

Nothing else has changed.

Well, okay, fiber-wise nothing has changed.

By pouring over my food journal, I discovered at some point I decided to shave a couple hundred calories off my day too.  No good reason.  I honestly hadn’t realized it.  That means that 2.1 pounds has come off with the help of adding those calories back while making sure I was eating the right type of fiber.

Could the fewer calories be the real reason my weight loss was struggling?  Nope.  Of course, I checked.

In checking, something fascinating appeared.

I can make a direct correlation between me consuming fiber gummies and/or at least 25g of fiber daily and the scale moving.  I found zero acceptations to the ‘rule’.

Here are several morals to my July story:

  1. If something feels off, it probably is.
  2. Food journals are essential tools.
  3. Gut health is critical.
  4. Fiber is a strong piece of the weight loss puzzle.
  5. Even the most well-vetted surgeon can still end up being an ass.
  6. THIS IS WORK PEOPLE!!!  Do not let someone tell you that because you’re doing okay or better than before surgery that you should just be happy.
  7. Take the damn gummies woman!!!!!

If I can throw down another ‘dismal’ 8.5 pound month for August I’ll hit Onederland ahead of what I targeted and fiber gummies are at the top of my shopping list.

Yes, I know 8.5 pounds in one month is nearly 5 times better than my pre-op body could muster but everyone, especially me, needs to let go of qualifying it like that or at all.  Losing 8.5 pounds or less per month as a ‘normal’ in the first year post weight loss surgery indicates an issue or three.  Period.

 

 

 

Lowest Known Adult Weight

Goals Quote

211.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did it.  I’m still in a little bit of shock.

My lowest known adult weight was 212.2 on 10/24/05.  It was a few months after I became only the second person in my family to graduate college with at least an Associate’s degree.  But, I actually had two of them and on my way to a Bachelor’s degree.  I also was getting divorced.

The regain was slow–10 pounds in the following two years–but it did happen.  Then I remarried in 2008, found out he was clinically insane (no, really like the stuff of horror movies), got divorced again, was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and gained over 50 pounds in four months as the side effects of the medication took hold.

I went from healthy and active to disabled and gaining weight I didn’t earn in less than eighteen months.

It was heart-wrenching.

Then in 2010, I kicked the medications to the curb and demanded my life back.

It’s been a long, slow journey to here and I absolutely know having weight loss surgery was the right tool for me and my body.

I have been curious how I would feel about getting here.  I have lost all the weight of those painful moments and have arrived at a weight when I felt my most triumphant.  I was curious if that feeling would return too.

It has.

It’s taken me just less than two months to lose 11 pounds so I’m giving myself two months to lose 11.1 pounds and see 199.9.

Onederland…you’re mine.Goals Quote

 

 

Four Months–The End, The Beginning, But Really Barely The Middle

Gilda Rander Quote

Yeah, I know that makes one huge heap of sense.  Please allow me to explain.

The End: I have decided to fire my surgery practice.  I’ll try to give you the Cliff’s Notes style story.  My surgeon repaired a hiatal hernia and despite me asking no less than six times, in and out of the hospital, I was NEVER informed and therefore received no aftercare instructions or alterations to the diet plan.  I only found out when I received a bill for charges not covered by the insurance company.  Then last week there was a HIPPA violation when I was sent a lab order for another patient.  If I wasn’t already fuming, that sent me to my outer orbit.  There’s just no amount of anything that is going to make this right.  It means I have to give up my AMAZING nutritionist and that almost makes me want to collapse into a pile of tears.  She’s helped me more than anyone in my whole nearly 13 year weight loss story.  However, the irony is by all appearances the hernia repair has been a failure since the moment I started asking about it.  I’ll be having a barium swallow and complete upper GI series next week to confirm it.

The old me would have just swept this all under the rug but the new me keeps asking myself: “What are the consequences to your progress if you try to hold on to this obviously broken situation?”  I don’t want to find out.  I have spent the past few months ‘fixing’ myself of all the moments I tried to puzzle together the good bits and doing my best to tip-toe around the bad ones.  The best part of all of this is I feel zero need to fix it.  It’s broken.  I didn’t break it so it’s not up to me to run around trying to make it all better.  End of story.

The Beginning: I want to draw my line in the sand and move forward.  Four months ago today I drew a different line in the sand when I had surgery.  It’s not like I can go back and change it, right?  So my job is to continue to move forward.  Today is a different sort of new beginning.  My only concern about moving forward is losing my nutritionist.  Oh I have the food part down and she even agrees.  The scary part is I have a weird body and she’s known exactly how to fix it.  No one has been able to do that for me.  Ever!  I have 12 years of diet failure so it’s not like I haven’t been begging and pleading for help all along the way either.  Fortunately, I have also learned a lot.  I know how to fuel my body.  I just need to hold on to the hope that God and the Universe will continue to place the helpers I might need in my path…and to not go crazy waiting for them to show up.  Today, I am moving forward all alone and all for me.

Barely The Middle:  Here’s the truth: I am two months shy of the halfway point on what is often referred to as the “Golden Window” by many bariatric specialists and patients.  The Golden Window is that magical first year where everything is easy–metaphorically–meaning the bulk of the excess weight comes off as long as the patient is doing her, or his, part.  Sure there are bumps along the way but the first year is very similar to the rapid change in the life of an infant.  Growth. Milestones.  I am not about to let anyone fuck with it.  This is my journey dammit.  My goals haven’t changed.  Of course, it has been feeling like everything is upside down but after a few moments of wildflower therapy on top of a gorgeous mountain it all became clear: I am upset about what happened…not where I have been or where I am going.  Huge difference.  My choice then is to let all the past die where it is and focus on MY GOALS!!!!!!!!!!!  Oh there will be fallout as the surgeon discovers what has happened because in my absolute heart of hearts I cannot imagine he knows but that fallout is the natural consequences running their course.  My goals are independent of the outcome…

Wait, how did I get this strong…

July Goals?

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A few weeks ago I joined several Facebook support groups.  I just felt, and feel, like I need to be connected to other weight loss surgery people right now.  Where I am not close enough to my surgeon’s office to attend the support group, I figured this is the next best thing.

Today, one of the group leaders posted:

“What are you July goals?”

My answer was:

“To forget June ever happened.”

Mentally, physically, emotionally…June was just a big, ol’ huge vat of disappointment and frustration…and s-l-o-w weight loss.

How slow?

Slow enough it was my pre-op normal.

Yes, I have let the irony of me being flustered by losing at my pre-op rate sink all the way through my consciousness.

And, do you know what conclusion I arrived at?

My pre-op body and my post-op body are definitely not the same so I need to stop marking my journey now with those outdated signposts.

The truth is…Right now my body is NOT optimized.

Period.

No fussing.  No whining.  No rationalization.

And, it’s July now so how much longer am I going to be circling the drain about what a disappointment June was?

So am I okay with my glibly made goal to erase June from memory?

Uhh, noooooooooooooo.

Here’s my July goal:

20-25g of fiber daily

That’s it.

My new multivitamin pill is not being kind to my system so I need to make sure I am doing everything I can to keep my system running smoothly.

Not being able to buy my vitamin patches is one problem that is only exacerbated by not consuming enough fiber.

Besides, I am at the point where I have a really good handle on everything else except fiber.  When I scroll back through my food journal and when I am honest with myself, it is the one area I, as the controller of all things which enter my body, have slacked on.

Oh I can bitch about my supplement delivery method all I want but until I take accountability for consuming enough fiber I am not doing my body–or my attitude–any favors.

I am just complaining.

That is not me.

I am a woman of action.

That is my truth…and I am grateful a support group leader posed the question so I could knock some sense back into myself.

Sure, it feels lame to count fiber grams but it is always better than feeling gross and bloated because my plumbing isn’t up to plumb.

Pity party over.

Time to get back to me.IMG_8209

 

 

In My First 100 Days

I have planned this post for quite some time but I’m just finishing it up this morning.  It’s too hot to sleep with the desert southwest under a heat advisory–111 degrees today–so I might as well wrap this up before I decide too much time has passed and it feels lame.

My 100th day home from the hospital was Saturday June 18.

It seems unreal.

When I had 100 days before surgery, it felt like time was crawling.

But isn’t that always the way?

So what has the first 100 days brought me?

Let’s start with the obvious:

50.9 pounds of weight lost
3.8-percent body fat lost
25.25 inches lost (measuring right limbs only)
4 jean sizes down
3 shirt sizes down
3 dress sizes down
1-1.5 shoe sizes (yes, for reals and depending on the shoe)
2.25 pounds of muscle GAINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are all measurable outcomes and they are completely mind blowing to the point I knew I had to frame them in this context.  I needed to write this out because I need to see it so much more than I need to share it.  I know my fellow WLSers totally understand how the brain and body are so out-of-sync especially at the beginning.

But what else have I seen, done, heard, and felt in these first 100 days?

The inside of a swimming pool…
I can hold Tree Pose again…
“Slow down…you’re walking too fast.”  (It’s hilarious to me actually)…
I have little baby abs starting to poke out from under my ‘melon’ of belly fat…
My rib cage…(but when I lay on my back there’s a good size depression)
My son said, “Mom…You’re getting some guns.”
I can do a forward fold and put 3/4 of palm on the floor…
I jumped across a small ditch but it was wider than my leg span so it was a full jump…
Realizing just how utterly amazing my nutritionist is…
My commitment to keep my goals health-focused rather than scale focused is stronger…
I can wash my whole back…(with a jacked shoulder this is a big deal)
A greater sense of confidence in the whole of my journey…
I trust my body…(so weird after all these years of putting in the work without reward)…
Less to almost zero acne …(46 years old and I can FINALLY stop using zit cream)
The positive changes it’s had on my family’s attention to their own health…
How many times I did NOT resort to food when faced with unimaginable stress…
That I actually learned to like water…(most days, most days…lol
That I haven’t needed to be perfect one million percent of the time…
I want to do squats…

I could probably do this for an hour or more but I think this is a good list to hold on to.

My point is having weight loss surgery does change the number on the scale but it also changes you and those around you in so many ways that cannot be quantified or anticipated.  I am grateful 99.99-percent of the changes in my body, life, relationships, and world have been positive.  So grateful!!!

It has definitely not been all sunshine and daisies.  It’s been a lot of hard work and making choices I would have rather not like getting that next bottle of water to go down or fixing myself a meal slightly different than the one I cooked for my family.  But, isn’t that the junction of success…doing the things you know are wise and prudent even when you would really rather not?

I love this quote by Jim Rohn and think it absolutely applies to the post-op life.

Jim Rohn Quote

Milestones And Disappointment

I have been working really hard the past few weeks.

Damn hard.

Hard enough to CRUSH my goals of falling under 220 before my three-month appointment (two days ago) and losing 50 total pounds (this morning).  I am also about to CRUSH my goal of hitting my lowest known adult weight by 4 July only to not be able to have enough money to travel to my surgeon’s office for my three-month appointment.

My hubs is self-employed and he didn’t get paid on time so I cannot go to my appointment.

If we roll the dice and I roll on down the highway to my surgeon’s office in Las Vegas, a five hour round trip, and one of the people who owes us money does not pay today we won’t have enough gas money for him to keep working tomorrow.

Normally, I do not mind our razor thin existence too much.  It’s hard.  I can do hard things.

Today, my disappointment is leaking out my eyes.

My surgery practice is AMAZING!!!  They’re a whole office full of cheerleaders and I really wanted to share my success with them today.

I’m not the sort who needs tons of people fawning over me.  If anything, it creeps me out.

Today, I earned it.

Today, I wanted it.

For a zillion reasons, this whole journey has been lonely.

The real life friends I included–because other than this blog, I have kept very quiet about it–have not shown up in the way I thought they might.  I kept my circle small on purpose and only included the people who I thought would ‘be there’ for me.  They haven’t.

Maybe that sounds spoiled or self-centered or whatever but, if you’re reading, you probably don’t understand the level of support I feel like I give them.

I know what is going on in many of their lives and it’s far more serious, in a couple of cases life-threatening, than my success.  I do understand the grand scheme of things.  It really is okay.  But dammit, I’m a good enough friend to know and understand.  And, I’m really okay ‘just’ having my surgeon’s office be my cheerleaders except today I can’t even have that much and it’s so damned disappointing.

I have worked really hard…

and now I am working hard to honestly acknowledge my disappointment while avoiding feeling the hollowness of celebrating alone.

50 pounds is AWESOME and I just want to share it with the people who helped me get there and who matter to me and it feels like that’s even asking too much.

 

 

This Month Was Better

In case you don’t remember, last month my home-from-the-hospital anniversary ended up being rather emotional.

My progress was stalling.

My body felt off.

The old, familiar feelings of “WHY, WHY, WHY…isn’t this working?” were swirling.

Thankfully, I recognized and honored those feelings and decided to share them with my seriously amazing nutritionist.  Through a chain of emails we pinpointed the suspected culprit in my diet and eliminated it immediately.  Ten days after discontinuing the preservative-laden lunch meat my body felt like it was getting back to normal–yep, a protein…a legal, nutritionist-approved protein–knocked my body out of whack and ground my progress to a halt.

I didn’t assume I was in a natural stall.

I listened to my body.

I did NOT listen to people who were telling me I should just ‘be happy’ with my progress so far or that I was being too hard on myself.  They haven’t lived in this body so there’s no way they could know but I couldn’t help but wonder maybe they were right.

Instead, I asked for help with confidence I was right something was wrong.

I found solutions.  Simple, simple, simple solutions to get me back on track.

I’ve been trying to lose weight for over a decade and have experienced a similar scenario more times than I can count but I have never had the level of professional support I have now and for me that is what is making all the difference.

Yes, having a vertical sleeve gastrectomy helped.  A lot.

BUT…

Without the custom attention of my brilliant nutritionist, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

I like it here.

I like the success I’m having.

I really like how almost predictable it is.  It’s only almost predictable because let’s face it…autoimmune disease is a roller coaster of crazy body blowouts…but I have been able to wrangle my body back into submission faster than ever.

I like having confidence in myself and my body.

I have never experienced any of this on previous attempts.

This…weight loss surgery…was the right tool for ME.

After last month’s experience, I also learned something new.  Despite my attempts at non-nonchalance, the remembrance of the day I came home from the hospital does matter to me.

It is a natural benchmark.  But, there is no requirement for me to have any emotional investment whatsoever.  I certainly do not need to be freaking myself out with goals, celebrations, photos, or anything else.

After last month, I decided I didn’t want to do that to myself again.  So, I didn’t.

This month instead of piling a heap of expectations on the day I barely let it register including moving my three month check up from the day before ‘the day’ to the week after.

You know as well as I do had I driven to Las Vegas the day before my body would have swelled up like a toad.  It always does.  Bodies with chronic venous insufficiency do not like to be captive in a car.  I would have stepped on the scale the next morning feeling defeated.

Seriously, who needs to ‘celebrate’ what has become a very positive step in recapturing my health with feeling betrayed by one’s own body?

Not this girl.

Not any more dammit!!!

Instead I realized I am super close to some milestones and so I tightened up my eating and made sure I was really holding myself to the line and I lost the most last week. 3.2 pounds, since lunch meat decided to go rogue in my guts.

Let me just tell you…

THAT FEELS BETTER!!!!

Not just because 3.2 pounds is nearly SEVEN TIMES what my non-wls surgery good weeks looked like but because I focused on what I could do.

Such a simple, subtle change.

I am now exactly one pound from losing 45 pounds since coming home from the hospital.

I have never, not even when I was lifting over 100 pounds in the gym, have I lose 45 pounds in a single year.  Probably not even in two years.

Then I’m exactly 8.6 pounds away from achieving my lowest known adult weight.

In between, there’s the 50 pound milestone.

It’s not just the poundage.

I’m down 3.4-percent body fat too.

For most people, you need to lose 7-12 pounds of body weight to lose 1-percent body fat.  What that means is I am losing mostly fat and retaining my metabolically active tissue aka muscle.  What that means is even though some people might call weight loss surgery the ‘easy way out,’ I am managing to keep my body’s metabolism from being destroyed by rapid weight loss (Have you seen the Biggest Loser studies?)

And, I sashayed into Old Navy on Friday and could zip every single pair of size 18 jeans I pulled even though while in the act of pulling them I was steeling myself for disappointment.

No more ‘big girl’ clothes!!!!!

I did take a peek at my measurements a few days ago but stopped when I saw I had lost over an inch from my waist since my last check three weeks ago.  I was trying to surprise myself…and I did…but now I want to wait until the day before my check-in for the full surprise.

I owe myself that much.

Do you know how crazy cool that feels to know and accept it too?

Adoring Your Body

 

 

Getting What I Want

10 Days…There are 10 days until my 3 month appointment. Okay, first WOW!!!

Second, having my son, who hadn’t seen me since before my surgery, home for the holiday weekend and the holiday weekend knocked me a little off track. He was blown away, ftw. However, my choices did not inspire the progress I say I want. I’ve already been able to pull myself fully back on track BUT I want the extra accountability of posting here.

For the next 10 days I’m on a mission.

I REALLY want to drop out of the 220s. I’ve been hanging on the edge too long. I’m ready. To get to 219.9 I just need to lose 4 pounds. To hit 50 pounds lost I need to reach 217.7.

That’s it. I can do that.

To be honest, declaring either still feels scary even after all my amazing success. I even doubled checked my post-op weekly results to make sure either is possible for my new body because I’m still having a hard time remembering to believe.

Oh yes, they can happen.

I ‘want’ to hit one of them by my appointment and I’m going to do everything I can to get what I want.

Here’s what I am going to do to get there:

100 oz of liquids, at least half plain water
70g protein (min) including one 20mg whey protein source daily
70g carbs max daily
Daily physical activity of varying levels and intensity

I even just took a picture of those goals and set them on my home and lock screens on my phone to remind myself.

I.
Got.
This.