Grand Opening

Today, Victoria’s Secret opens in the mall just down the street from my house.

For just a moment, I let myself think about shopping there for something other than lotion.

Gotta admit…I liked those thoughts.

Most of my life I have done everything possible to shun the frilly, lacey, glittery, girlie-girl within.  Honestly, part of it is because I enjoy the part of me who is strong, confident, and intelligent and let’s be honest it is really hard to be seen for both.  But you know what I am both.

Several years ago after my husband left me and our four children for his cousin (oh yes, you read that right), I was understandably in this really dark space.  In that moment, the only way I saw to get out of there was to embrace frills, lace, glitter and Victoria’s Secret.

A friend had given me VS Strawberries and Champagne lotion as a gift.  I was hooked instantly.  It was not just the smell but the young college age girls recognizing the scent on my old-enough-to-be-their mother’s self.  Like many mothers, I was also carrying around more weight than any body needs to carry.  Some of them were just young enough to ask, “You shop at Victoria’s Secret?”

And in that moment, I realized the power in saying, “Why yes I do.”

I have been hooked every since.

In fact, at every majorly depressing junction of my life since then one of my most favorite things to do is go buy lotion and then strut my too-fluffy self around the mall just to watch people’s mouths gape.

Hey, it feels really good to be a old momma and catch some young stud staring at you and then that signature bag and back at you.

That hunka, hunka doesn’t need to know it’s only lotion and I really actually feel like my soul is dying.

But right at this moment, that brand new sparkly pink store is going to be open in just about 15 minutes.  And right at this very moment, I am wondering what my life after weight loss might feel like to go buy something other than lotion.

I’m pretty sure that feels pretty damn good too!

Yeah this is a journey to health, less pain and all the other blah, blah, blah practical reasons for using the Lap Band to override my body’s ignorant insistence on holding on to every damn morsel or crumb I swallow.

However, I’d be a damn liar if I tried to convince you, myself, or the repressed lace-lover within that I am not looking forward to taking my future junior sized self to the pink promised land.

Tiny clothes, lots of lace, feeling sexy…some of the greatest non-scale victories around.

I cannot wait to swing armfuls of glossy pink bags as I take a few laps around the mall.

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