My Uncle Died This Morning

He just turned 70 two weeks ago today actually but he could have lived much longer had he not fallen prey to sugar.  He was obese, diabetic, and a closet smoker–he thought he was sly enough to hide it from all of us but we knew.

His death today could have been prevented by a healthy weight and a healthy lifestyle.  In fact, all but one of the adults in my family who have died could have taken better care of themselves.  My father–lung cancer.  My grandmother–obesity.  My uncle’s overarching health–diabetes, obesity, smoking.  And soon enough my mother who is already suffering from obesity and smoking related complications, my sister’s obesity, my husband’s obesity and cigarettes….and my own obesity if I do not stop it.

I have decided this is not going to be me.

My children are not going to be sitting around some day in the future saying or wondering “If mom had taken better care of herself, would she still be here.”

I am mad as hell at my uncle right now.  The secret runs to the frozen yogurt store and the not-so-well hid cigarettes complicated his health and it killed him.

His brother, my other uncle, has Type 1 diabetes  and was forced to take care of himself and did and his whole life is the last one standing.

This is NOT a coincidence.

I am doing my best to eat right, avoid sugar, exercise and be healthy.  My weight is NOT cooperating and I know it is slowly affecting the quality of my life.

My uncle loved to golf and dreamed of spending his last days on the links.  He did not live that dream because ultimately, in reality, he did not want it enough to stop the bad habits–and most of them were habits.  His last days were spent as an invalid…just like my grandma and father before him and eventually my mother as well.

My other grandma is a spry little old lady she’s in her 90s and still living.  She does have Alzheimer’s but to date it cannot be traced to personal habits.  Her husband died of sudden cardiac arrest at a young age but my other grandfather lived a long life.  He was a police officer and though I was not blessed to know him I can assume his job kept him on the healthier side of living.

June 24, 2013 was the last day my uncle breathed and it did not have be that way.  He could have died on the golf course instead.

In less than 48 hours, I am going to meet with a skilled man, one of the best surgeon’s in the field in my area, who I hope will give me the only tool I have not tried to change my life and my children’s memories of me.

We all want to go out kicking and screaming but how often are we making the choices we need to get what we want.

PS…I am so tempted to click this blog live right now and let the friends become frenemies if that is what is going to happen.  If there is one thing I know I am it is an advocate for life, for THRIVING and I really want this to be heard right now, in real time.  If I knew for sure I was going to be cleared for surgery maybe I would but since I am not the wise thing to do right now is to sit here talking to myself and being patient.  If I impress nothing on you, let it be this–YOU DO HAVE THE POWER TO AFFECT REAL CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE!!!  I’ve been failing at this weight loss thing long enough I should be awarded a PhD but damnit I am not giving up.  I will not go quietly.  I will not leave me or you without hope.  If you do not like the number on your scale get up and do something about it.  Try again even if you feel like you have tried a thousand, million times already.  Do anything but sit there resigned to what feels like fate.  FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE!

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