What’s Your Number?

Scale graphic

All over the support groups today there have been conversations about goal weights and target BMIs and I do not have either.

I also do not think I’ll be pinning them down soon.

Once upon a time I was obsessed by those numbers to the point I was not living healthy.  Today I live healthy and am obese and if that is my only two choices then I am more okay being obese than to go back to those “normal” numbers and be unhealthy.

I know someone who has had weight loss surgery who talks about her weight in terms like “movie star thin” and is completely upset she went through the “trouble” to lose weight and still cannot wear a bikini.  According to her she doesn’t have enough loose skin for plastic surgery but it’s still too much for a bikini.

Wait??????  She’s mad because she doesn’t have enough loose skin.

She is also obsessed about losing her last 25. She really doesn’t look like she has it to spare.  Her eyes are sunken in and she has deep, dark circles.  She looks sickly.  People try to tell her to be happy and she still obsesses over every detail of her body.

This lady tells anyone who will listen her current weight and desire to shed the last of her “fat.”

Nope!  I don’t want to be that girl.

Then there is one of my dearest friends and favorite people who doesn’t have a “movie star” body but who constantly talks about how healthy and good she feels.  She has lost and maintained over 100 pounds through gastric bypass.

Then there is the lady I started my weight loss journey with over 10 years ago.  She also has lost over 100 pounds and kept it off.  She even reversed several serious physical conditions and cured her agoraphobia.

Okay…now we’re talking!!!!  I want to be like those last two ladies.  They talk so little about the number on the scale I do not even know what either of them weighs.

Today I tried to make a cute ticker to help me see my progress but I can’t since I do not have a “magic” number as my goal.

What’s my number?

The one where I feel happy and healthy.

I think I’d like to be in single digit sizes but if pushing my body there starts to make me into the first woman I know my husband will stop me.  I know he will because I have asked him, begged him, made him promise to sit me down and have an intervention with me if I start doing unhealthy things or talking about my weight in an unhealthy manner.  I have even given him permission to talk to my doctors.

My goal is more health and fitness in my life.

Wonder if they make a ticker for that…..


3 thoughts on “What’s Your Number?

  1. Numbers always get me into trouble.. they should not determine.. if I am going to have a good day or a bad day. I have several of the same friends… some have found some very unhealthy habits now that they are thinner (ok.. this one is skinny) and partying like she is in college again. The other one keeps having plastic surgery because she doesn’t like how this looks or that looks. That is not what I want.. I want to be a healthy wife, mom and woman. I want to walk at Disney World and not cry in pain the entire next day. I want to go to a regular store and buy a sun dress at discount prices. Thank you for sharing your post… I will continue to follow you. I am starting my journey soon and would love to share it with you. http://www.gotsleeved.wordpress.com

    • Thanks for your note! Oh boy do I know people just like the ones you’re talking about. I was thin once and never appreciated my “thunder thighs” could run a 7-minute mile and box squat 220 pounds so had I not gained weight I might have become one of them. I have been thinking a lot about how happy I am my journey has been what it has been simply because I have a lot of perspective. Those numbers SUCK….until they happen to put you at a milestone weight…like this morning…lol…BUT I celebrated in a very different way today I said my goodbyes to the 270s forever. I am never going to back there again…EVER!!!!

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