First things first, I have been neglecting this blog.
Okay, I said it! Whew that feels better already. I am here to start the New Year right by bringing my attention back to chronicling this journey.
In my quiet time, I found new inspiration for this blog including a new name–“Weighing Fibromyalgia.”
Most of you have not known me long so please trust me when I say I am normally not this indecisive–this is the third–AND FINAL–name change. This journey has brought me through much already and as a writer I really need the name of the blog to reflect the direction I hope to take it.
“Weighing Fibromyalgia,” it is! (I will change the name before my next post.)
Speaking of posts, I will be here more often. I promise. I am actually “weighing” making the commitment to post each week–all puns intended.
What’s my hang-up with a weekly post?
Well, it’s like this…my body does not like to cooperate so I am carefully considering how a weekly post might “weigh” on me–again all puns intended.
If you have followed my THRIVER blog, Fibromyalgia It’s a Real Pain, you know I am all about “weighing” my options to give myself the best chance to THRIVE. Oh look, another pun.
I promise all the puns are not as much to be silly as they are to really help you understand “weighing” my choices is one of my THRIVER rules. I have to ask myself the question, “Would a weekly post “weigh” me down?” Okay, I’ll stop with the weighing jokes…they are getting heavy.
So what is my answer to the question?
You see if we are just talking fibro THRIVING the answer is a HELL YES! I proved that with my other blog.
But, now we are talking weight loss with Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, hypothyroidism, and Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which all conspire to make losing every ounce a battle…and this is before tossing fibro on the treadmill too.
I cannot explain what it has done to me especially through the six years before fibro found me to be “perfect” on my plan and not get the results any other “normal” person would. It is nothing short of soul-sucking.
Can you imagine how crazy it makes me to have a GREAT food and fitness week and NOT be rewarded with success?
Maybe some of you can but most of you do not know how this part of my life drives me batty. A big part of why is in my quest to live I positive life I frequently avoid sharing those moments when–not to put too fine a point on it–weight loss drives me totally bat-shit crazy. You can’t hear me scream like a banshee when I have done the work to make the scale move and it just sits there mocking me but my poor hubs can attest to several loud, ranting, fits of fury.
CRAZY I TELL YA!!
Oh I have tried to be happy with progress measured in ounces instead of pounds and I have even tried other ways to find joy in each little success. However, when every doctor in your arsenal refuses to have an intelligent conversation about positive, non-surgical therapies simply because I am clinically obese it inspires swear words to come frothing out of my mouth more than gentle words of hope, compassion, or patience with my defective body.
I do need to be nicer to myself about this whole thing.
As I write those words about why I do not share the darker side of my struggle, I cannot help but hear myself saying, “But what if someone else feels the same way too? Could your journey inspire others? Could you THRIVE this too? Could you share this part of your journey too just to let someone else know they are not alone?”
I think I might talk to myself too much…exposing this part of my life is S-C-A-R-Y. I am smirking as I remember the night nearly three years ago when I sat there by the light of my monitor and shook and cried as I clicked my first blog to life. That ended up not-so-scary so maybe this will too. So I am moving forward with one of my favorite sayings, “I don’t know if I can…but I know I can try.”
So from now on, I will be “Weighing Fibromyalgia” as I figure out how to tip the scales in my favor…and I will even share the raw moments when things are not going my way.
So let’s start with my stats for the New Year:
Weight: 262.6 (up just a touch from Christmas Eve when I hit my lowest weight in TWO YEARS…stupid salt)
Chest (bra strap): 38.75
I would love to slide into my junior’s size 19 jeans, the smallest I have been as an adult, but for this year I am making NO weight loss goals…at least I am going to try not to. They just end up frustrating me. Instead, I am looking for progress in all areas of my health and fitness with includes my weight and shrinking my body. This year I am focusing on being much more patient with my body and much more tolerant of her issues.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.