Since this blog is a fusion of fibromyalgia and weight loss so then is this post a fusion of those two things.
As fibro patients we always want others to “get it” and for many patients that leaves them feeling frustrated when attempts to help others “get it” fail. I have recently started calling myself the anti-activist because I am not on a crusade to “make” others understand. Frankly they are going to get it or they won’t and whether they do will have little to do with me. I am more concerned with helping fibro patients understand their disease may bring limitations but it also brings opportunities.
This past week has been an opportunity in caregiving for me. My hubs was injured at work last Friday to the point he is still on crutches today. The doctor gave him Norco for the pain and he has been using it. And sleeping it off.
This morning over breakfast we made plans to go to the movies. He’s going a little stir crazy being cooped up in the house and we have been promising each other a movie date so it seemed like the perfect moment. But then pain hit him and he went to lay down.
While he was napping, I finished the kitchen, did my makeup, did a load of laundry, changed from my workout clothes into “date” clothes, and worked on my book. Through it all I have been watching the clock eager for our date.
I just tried to wake him for our movie date and he is zonked, like really zonked.
Am I disappointed? Honestly, yeah I am.
You see as we were at the restaurant and the topic of movies came up I thought for a few moments and decided to switch my Reward Day (Chris Powell’s Carb Cycling) from tomorrow to today. It is a big switch because it adds 1000 extra calories to my food plan for the day. The flexibility of the plan is one of my favorite things because I can change how I work it to fit my life. Normally changes are planned but there is also room for spur of the moment changes.
There are so many of foods I can live without but movie theatre popcorn is never, ever, never going to be one of them. It is part of the experience for me so I cherish the couple of times a year I go to the theatre. It also meant crepes with hollandaise sauce were allowed. YUM!
And now, he’s sleeping!
I can feel those negative feelings churning…
But, I wanna go.
I did my makeup for nothing.
Of course, it did not take long for me to start thinking about “the others” in my life and how disappointed they have felt when I have had to rest when they wanted me to recreate.
My hubs and kids are generally awesome but beyond them it has gotten ugly enough to create lasting tension.
And perhaps because I know well what it feels like when someone is a total jerk to me when I do not feel right, I am absolutely NOT going to be that way to my sweetie.
Ehh, plans change.
Sick, injured, fibro’d or just because life happens but for some reason I cannot explain we fibros put extra pressure on ourselves and our loved ones to behave perfectly. It really needs to stop.
Truth is I am a little tired…still willing to go if he was up to it…but honestly fatigued. I have a little pain and I have been chilled all day even after I changed into my cashmere sweater. Symptomatic but not enough to keep me from THRIVING.
I have been a busy girl today so I can honestly say I earned it all…except being cold that makes zero sense.
Plus I am on track to hit my step count, minutes of activity target, and total calories burned target.
The thing I will miss today is managing to eat 2600 calories–the crepes were RICH and I am still full to the point it would probably be a tragic mistake to put buttered, oil-popped popcorn on top of it.
So now I am faced with a choice to continue to be disappointed about our date or move forward and decide to be okay.
I pick forward and okay.
But, you already knew that right?
So in my video for today I said “I am all dressed up with no where to go,” but I think I am going to run to the store for some microwave popcorn to go with the “42” dvd my hubs bought me for my birthday just in case he feels up to watching it.
Extra walking opportunity found.
Life, love, and fibro THRIVED.
And…I look fabulous…even if I feel kinda fibro’d.
PLUS…I did my measurements and weight this morning and I lost 3.5 inches last week and 6/10ths of a pound…not to shabby since I did not set foot in the gym once but kept my commitment to hit all my targets anyway.
Hey, did you notice I actually have to leave the house for “junk” food for an at-home movie night. I almost missed it myself but that’s pretty cool! NON-SCALE VICTORY…woot, woot!!!