Sometimes, there just is no substitute for chocolate.

Thank goodness I picked Easy Cycle this week so a small treat is allowed because I am not sure I will ever muster guilt for 90% cacao chocolate.

It is also good that I can keep a stash of the rich, dark chocolate that bites you back in my desk drawer without binging on it.  In fact, I happened to notice this bar has been in my drawer long enough that it expires in August.  This particular bar was the only candy in my Christmas stocking this past year.   Yeah, you read that right.  It’s been there since Christmas and only had two squares missing.

Tonight, I am splurging.  Four squares…250 of the best calories on the planet.

Today sucked.

I spent the day medicated which you should read as passed out on the couch because that is what happens when I need a pharmaceutical intervention to turn the tide of my pain.  This neck of mine is being stubborn but thanks to some lovely friends I made a traction bar of sorts out of a rolled up towel.  This is the least pain I have been in for weeks.

Then I cooked dinner that no one ate…again…for the second night in a row and bloody hell if that doesn’t just cheese me off to no end.  If no one was going to eat, I would have saved the food and had the can of cream of mushroom soup I really wanted.  Don’t ask where that craving is coming from because I have no idea but it does sound delish.

Then I decided I wanted dessert.  I never want dessert or I should say I rarely want dessert.  Tonight cheesecake and a cup of coffee sounded divine but at 10 p.m. in my berg such delights are not to be found, at least of any quality, so I was contemplating a run to the convenience store down the street for an ice cream bar instead when I remembered my chocolate stash.

It’ll do.

My neck is feeling better but truthfully I am afraid to go to bed.  I have to take a muscle relaxer and since they knock me out I know I won’t know if my head is in a weird position or if I’m clenching my teeth, or have slid off my pillow, or any other pain-inducing scenario.  I want to wake up in no more pain than I am in right now or I would rather not sleep.  It is one of the traps of being a pain patient.  Fortunately I also know the more I keep my body on schedule the better chance I have of licking the pain altogether so to bed I go.


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