Mini Challenge Day Five, I Am Not Above Bribery, CI#67

Into every chronic babe’s life, a bad day must fall.  Today is the day.  It happens that’s why this is it is chronic and not food poisoning, a cold, or a broken bone.  We have to plan for the bad days as much as we relish the good.  It’s just how it works and there is no getting around it but bribery can help.

Let me explain.  Here’s my list today:

Migraine
The neck thing is back
I’m frozen, despite it being 78 degrees and being clad in flannel
Legs burning
Toes numb/asleep
Chin asleep, which I am sure is just referred from my neck but still
Nausea
Whole-body itching
Fogged like San Francisco in February
Weakness
Tremors
And on the verge of becoming a total bitch about it.

Do you blame me?  Not if you’re a chronic babe (or dude) too.

Honestly it is so tempting to blame all of this on fibro but the likely truth is some of it is not.  One of my wellness strategies is to give the proper disease credit for making me feel like shit but today I just cannot muster the caring to sort them all out.  Although I highly suspect Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis is largely involved.  None of this was helped by my faithful companion Petey, my ShihTzu, waking me up at 4 a.m.  Sometimes when you have critters, it happens.

Here I am at 2:30 in the afternoon and really starting to feel my day, my life has been wasted.  The sludge at the bottom of the self-pity barrel is in sight.  My choice is to continue to sink into the abyss or do something to hold on for dear life.

Bribery to the rescue.

So I have this commitment to walk every single day this week.  Yes, I did consider the potential for a day like today when I made the commitment.  I’d be a fool if I didn’t.  I even postulated that the daily regimen might even trigger some extra pain though I do not believe for a second the walking is to blame in the particular case.  Again, I would be a fool if I did not explore the possibility before hand.  It is part of the contract being chronic thrusts upon us.

I am sure if I said, “I can’t today,” there is not a single person who would blame me…except for myself.

Did I mention I am on the verge of being a bitch?  Oh yes, I did.  So here’s the thing I know about myself…When I am standing at the precipice of the netherworld of chronic pain I can get super mean with myself.  The internal dialog is uglier than I would let any other human hear.  So, bribery has become my way of putting the brakes on and convincing myself to change course.

“Dear Tanya, if you’ll just go take a shower and get ready to go pick up your son you can get a Powerade slushie and sit in the sun.”

“Oh…okay…I can do it.”

I have two hours to accomplish the terms of the agreement.

Honestly, I am not so bad off that I am physically unable to shower and dress myself but truth be told when I feel this bad I just do not care.  Oh I could go pull my hair back in a pony, put on a hat, yesterday’s jeans, and a clean shirt and call it good but under the circumstances it is not good enough.  Right now what I need most is to flip fibromyalgia off and dirty hair and mostly clean jeans just are not going to cut it.  And I know this about myself.

So again I can choose to allow the chronic part of my life to take over, or I can know myself and do something to stop it.

To Sonic for a Powerade slushie.

Why?  Isn’t this against the “no feeding your pain with sugar rule”?

Yes, sugar is bad for pain.

However, part of my pain is a headache that feels like migraine.  Meds did not solve it or even take the edge off of it so I have to consider perhaps dehydration is masquerading as a migraine.  Sports drinks have been proven to have near-instant effectiveness for this type of headache.  At this point, it’s worth a shot.  And, I can leave a little early, walk to Sonic while drinks are still half-price and give the Powerade slush and some sunshine a chance.

Besides, I also have to consider the tremors could be form a lack of calories. I had french toast at about 8 a.m. and then nothing, not even water, until just after 2 p.m.

The slush is either going to help or plunge me to a whimpering pile of goo…and there’s only one way to find out.

Here is me before and then after a shower, a very large beverage, some food, and sunshine.  This is only about two and a half hours difference but it looks and feels like a whole world.

Before

Before

After

After

 

 

And in between there were Crocs and funky socks 😀

 

 

 

You are worth this much effort!

Do I feel better?  Yeah, a little bit.

Did all my symptoms go away?  Nope.

Do I at least feel like I can make it through the rest of the day?  Thankfully, yes.

Have I even managed to stay on track today?  Mostly.  Truthfully, I haven’t had a single veggie all day.  I have veggies but when your stomach is upside-down it’s best to stick to the bland, less acidic side of the culinary world and for me that was soup and rice.  It’s not ideal by any stretch but under the circumstances I do believe it was the right decision in the moment.

Now I am off for more water.  THRIVE ON!

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