Today has been a most unusual Saturday. First, my husband woke up late. You would have to really understand this man to know this is a rather big deal. He’s a former dairyman who is programmed to still waking up with the cows so for him to just be shaking the sleepy off at 8 a.m. is exceedingly rare. He did clock-in at 2:10 a.m. yesterday morning and drove nearly the entire length of the state and back. It wasn’t without reason.
Since the weekdays are mine to do what I want, our weekends often follow his schedule. Today was no exception. As 4:30 p.m. rolled around we both were exhausted. We did a lot. Nothing to strenuous but continuously busy all day. There was a long conversation about the utter ridiculousness of taking a nap considering the hour. The poor guy is still asleep at almost 9 p.m. I have tried to wake him a couple of times but he’s out. Out like a man who works as hard as he does.
My nap gave me a headache.
As I was waking, it slowly dawned on me I had not made time for my walk yet. I laid there in the dusky light contemplating the cobweb-y pain in my head. I started going back and forth about taking a walk. I live on a very busy highway at the edge of an industrial zone so safety is a concern. Our house is also at the intersection of a 4-way hill–down to the East, West, and South and uphill to the North. Hills and my knee are not friends. This is the reason why I drive to a park or trail to walk. Honestly, it is part of why I do not walk more often. Like tonight sometimes there just is not time to drive somewhere. Sometimes, I need every drop of gasoline to take care of my family.
So I lay there contemplating…
“Ugh…unless I jump up right now there’s no way to make it to the trail.”
“So don’t go.”
“Bbbbbbbbbut it’s Saturday…I cannot fail now.”
My head pounded.
“I need drugs.”
Slowly a thought wafted…
“You could walk to the gas station for a diet Dr Pepper and take regular pain reliever for the headache (I’ve been needing my migraine meds a lot this week and sometimes the meds cause rebound headache and the only way to break the chain is to NOT take them. How’s that for nonsense?)
“Ugh….in a minute…don’t think I could walk a straight line right now.”
So I surfed Facebook for a few minutes. The curtains were still open so the fleeting light glared.
“Crap…if I don’t go right now it’s going to be totally dark.”
Hey I’ll admit it…I’m afraid of the dark. I live in a very safe community so safety is not much of a concern. I am just a big chicken.
“Shut up…I hate you and your stupid challenges.”
“But….I dun wanna go.”
“Are you willing to hate yourself for not going?”
“I thought I told you to shut up.”
I turned on Runtastic, put my phone in my wristlet, double checked to make sure I had my debit card, and I went.
There are exactly three houses on my block so it did not take me long to get to the intersection.
“Hey…this is weird…I do not remember the last time I was in a cross walk.”
Years of living in rural communities without stoplights will do that to a girl.
I caught myself delighting in being in between the lines.
“You are such a dork.”
“This is not going to feel great on the way back.”
And that right there is the problem. On the way back, when my body is already tired I have a steady uphill climb to get home and then our steep driveway another 10 or so feet off the road base. The northerly walk is totally out of the question as the hill starts off climbing at about a 6-percent grade. Umm, no.
Since we live so close to this gas station we are there often. All the girls know us but they still ask if we want a bag which we rarely do.
“Do you need a bag?”
“Actually yes…I walked down tonight.”
“Well you go girl…good for you.”
Can I just say it felt really good to actually hear her say that? Most of my “atta girls” are notes or from within but to hear another person say it was an unexpected surprise so much so an equally surprising tear just slid down my cheek as I wrote it out.
The walk back did burn and my knee cap felt weird so I am concerned how it is going to feel later and tomorrow. But, it was not awful.
Back at the cross walk, I actually had to push the button. Do you remember doing that as a child? I used to race my sister for the button. About four or five steps into the cross walk I remembered the terror I used to feel as a child because I never could make it before the little man turned red. It always embarrassed me. I always felt bad about myself for not being able to move my short legs fast enough.
“Oh not to-night…nope.”
I kicked my still-short legs into high gear.
The little man turned red with one step left.
“Oh now it’s on…I am going to beat you little man.”
At least, that is if I’m not a crippled, mangled mess in the morning.
Half my soda is gone along with half my headache.
But, I am smiling because I made the choice to give myself this victory. I could have, and almost did, come up with plenty of excuses to fail. But, did you notice I only needed one reason to decide to succeed?
Honestly, I ate a tiny bit of a peanut butter bar earlier after a decent LC day. Even with the off-limits-today treat I am still on-track calorie wise so that is a tiny bit of extra credit. However, I had also tasted failure already. It is bitter and rotten so I made the choice to avoid a second helping. I am still not happy about the rich, peanutty, chocolately bites…but I feel rather proud of myself for turning it around. I have one more walk to go on to win this challenge.
Winning feels good…I only needed to convince myself and make the .36 mile round-trip…a total of 12:47 of my life to feel better about myself…Yeah, winning feels very good.
PS….It’s just after 11 p.m. and my video still will not go from my phone to SkyDrive 😦 Hopefully tomorrow.