Do you ever feel like that? I do. Ever since fibro hit me my brain, and my body, can only process so much and the rest goes on standby until the queue thins out some. That is where I have been the past few days–thinning the queue.
Now that moving is off the table and my body is starting to relax my mind starts remembering all the “little” things I should be doing. Oh there’s that should word. Isn’t evil? Should be. Should have been. Should. Should. Should.
So tonight I am lumping all these updates together and snuggling with tea, a blanket, and my dogs. I am not doing anything self-destructive, not even close. I am even avoiding potential triggers as I respect I am too close to the edge. It’s a huge victory.
Honest, the week has not been bad. I have just had a lot more on my plate than normal. It has been draining–not bad–it just takes energy that all so precious and elusive commodity missing from the lives of people with fibromyalgia.
Foodwise, it has been a good week. I have been very aware of the extra stress in my life so I have been watching myself like a hawk. Practicing that level of mindfulness also takes energy. Maintaining the focus to be present as I eat and drink has been worth the effort.
Now, having said that I fully admit to wanting to dive head first into a pile of sugar and not come out until I’m sick.
I rarely want this for myself anymore so I am trying to celebrate that success while not giving into the temptation to wreck all my good work this week. This also takes extra energy.
I am depleted in many senses of the word.
It happens to the best THRIVERS because it is just part and parcel of the chronic life. It is one of the things the “normal” folks have a hard time understanding.
But, I have been at this long enough to know the more I can rest, restore, and recharge the better I am going to feel. It won’t be tomorrow and likely won’t be Sunday either but I will bounce back. I always do.
Back to ME.