This week was a train wreck. It started with the news hubs knee is going to require surgery and my #2 son’s ankles need surgery and the tailspin never really stopped. We’re actually still in the thick of some of the drama but Friday morning I put the train back on the track and have been crawling along ever since.
The extra business and stress brought fatigue AND a house that has tipped to the point of being chaotic. Even as I am typing these words, I feel like I “shouldn’t” be taking the time. Honestly, I need another cup of coffee and I can sip and write at the same time. If I try to carry this cup around the house while I clean I will lose the cup. And, truth be told, I do not want to clean today. Typing those words made me tear just a little. Yes, there is a little depression going on and a lot of uncertainty and even more I just need a damn break. I also know me well enough to know as long as I continue to focus on the needing of a break the worse I am going to get so part of this note is creating that stop and moving forward.
Here’s what I know, I am not taking care of myself.
There I said it.
I am trying to think back to any example this week where I put self-care as my number one priority and I am coming up empty.
No flippin’ wonder I am a mess.
So it is almost no surprise to me that I only lost .2 pound this week. However, my average calorie deficit for the week says I should have lost at least one pound.
Perhaps and there is only one way to find out: Correct my course.
And yet, a meme from the weight loss surgery support group I cannot seem to leave, saved me from being too hard on myself about it. The meme said to drop that “only” thinking and focus on the victory. It is a message which has repeated through this journey often and I am very grateful it arrived at the moment I needed it. Maybe one of these days it will stick for good.
With as far off normal as this week was the truth is it IS amazing I still managed to keep it together enough to lose at all. For the moment I saw the meme I really started thinking about what I had done different so I could make the right adjustments.
Yesterday afternoon while I was tending my garden it dawned on me that for no real reason at all I decided to start taking my supplements with lunch instead of breakfast. It just seemed easier to take them all with lunch. Well, this week the meal which could be called lunch has been between 2-3 in the afternoon which moved those supplements even farther away from my thyroid medication which they are supposed to supercharging.
Sometimes I don’t need “bad” things to happen to me because I do a decent enough job all by my lonesome of making my weight loss and life harder than it needs to be. (For more proof I am not taking care of myself when I typed the “d” in harder my solar keyboard died. You see part of what I do when I am taking care of myself is charge my keyboard under a light or near a window. I wasn’t taking that time so I ran the solar cells totally dry.) Sigh. Starting today, I moved the supplements back to breakfast. Starting yesterday, I returned to my self-care even if it was just a few minutes for me to rest or do something fun. (Obviously, I had not come around to remembering to charge my keyboard too.) I am also taking a few more slow deep breaths than I had been earlier in the week.
Inches lost: I’m assuming zero. Truthfully, I measured my chest and waist and when there was no change either I rolled my eyes and didn’t really bother with the rest.
My best advice: If you have a complicated medical history, PLEASE pay attention to the small stuff. The devil is in those details. Please, let my example be your proof, your warning that the smallest changes do matter.
New week, new…errr, old…attitude.
FYI…This post was finished mid- to late afternoon on Sunday but the afternoon blew up, I didn’t get a shower so I chose not to put my greasy hair on camera and it was too flippin’ hot for a hat. A little vain? Yep. I’ll own it. And frankly since GiveIt100 changed their uploading format I’ve lost my motivation to make sure I have a video each day since I can skip as many days as I want and still be at the same number I left off. Lazy? Spiteful? Probably both, honestly. I’ll own that too. I’m not happy with the change so I am trying to decide how and when to end my vlogs. Right now, I think I’ll bang out 14 more and call it good but it does leave me with some things to figure out as far as this blog goes since I am still on my journey and I found the videos a useful tool.