The Importance Of Knowing Your Body, OR My Final Word On Why I Do Not And Will Not Have a Goal Weight Ever Again, CI#88

I am so excited I can hardly type…that is what happens when everything you have ever guessed about your body is proven true.

Guess #1: My body has more muscle than most girls.

Guess #2: My body is never going to conform to the charts–BMI or healthy weight for height

Guess #3:  Because of 1 and 2, I will be able to weigh more AND still be healthy

As you know, I drove to Las Vegas yesterday to gamble on an endocrinologist who is also board certified in metabolism and specializes in weight loss (I will be explaining the thyroid portion of the appointment in a different post).

As part of that appointment, he used the Tanita Body Composition Analyzer TBF-215 to produce a snapshot of  my body composition.  I was not expecting this to be a part of the visit so I have to say I was giddy as that moment when all the bells and whistles start to chime when a slot machine hits a big payout (not that I gamble a lot…I actually think it’s rather boring but that’s another story).

So imagine my glee to look up this model and discover what each abbreviation means.  He explained the basic ones but the one that means the most to me is just three curious letters: FFM.  I was too wrecked to feed my curiosity last night so it was not until about 15 minutes ago that I looked up the abbreviation.

Do you know what FFM stands for?

I feel a little silly for not catching it so don’t worry if it is not coming to you either.

FFM stands for…….

wait for it….


just a little more….

FAT FREE MASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is FFM?

I am so glad you asked.  Fat Free Mass is what I would weigh if all the fat–every ounce–was sucked out of my body so all I was left with were bones and tissues.

Do you know what my FFM is?

Yeah, me neither until yesterday.

Are you ready for this?

128.21 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So take a look at the height weight chart  and find 5’3″…..gone on I’ll wait 🙂

weight-chart-377For my height, 125 is in the middle of the green “healthy” zone and right this very minute if we suck all the fat out of my body I’m above the middle of the healthy zone.

BOOYAH and take that ever jackassed doctor who has railed on me about my weight.

And to the bullies throughout my life:  Do you have any idea how much I would dearly love to shove this  in your face.  You sucked then and you really suck now…and I FORGIVE you for your ignorance because I too was ignorant.

But I also have to acknowledge that without them, I would not have been nearly as relentless in my search to find out my personal numbers.

I do not fit the mold.  I am the outlier in the data set.  Like that should come at any surprise to anyone who knows me…or to myself for that matter.

I swear I can barely contain my bliss.

According to the Tanita TBF-215, when I reach 30-percent body fat, a respectable percentage for a woman, I should weigh…

…approximately 183.21 POUNDS.

Suck on that you stupid chart.

You don’t know me.

You’ve never known me.

And I am so totally, completely, one bazillion percent over you trying to force me to conform to a standard that would be dangerous for MY big muscled, heavy-boned body.

I freakin’ knew it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

May 30 Body Fat ScanAt 183.21 pounds I’m still obese according to this so-does-not-fit-me chart.  And if this dumb chart or any jackass doctor, insurance underwriter, or bully thinks I am going to lose muscle to make my body more acceptable in their eyes then boyoboyo do they have a rude awakening coming their way.

I AM NOT NORMAL!!!!!!!!!! AND I REFUSE TO CONFORM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even my, “Gee, I’d like to see 175 again,” kinda sorta on again, off again goal is wrong for me.

If you go back to the beginning and read this: I started this whole journey perplexed about the notion of a goal because I was sure all they way down to my bones and muscles that I was right about my body and I was focused on chasing health rather than a number.

I am…and I am so glad I did not let a stupid chart and a throng of non-believers get in my way.

I am grateful I have stuck to my guns–you know those great big arm muscles hiding under a layer of fat–and kept searching not so much to find out I was right because being right was never my goal as much as learning my body’s own truth and adjusting accordingly.  A while back I decided I could be delightfully average and put the average weight of an American woman-166 pounds–in my mind as a potential goal.

Check out that BMR–Basal Metabolic Rate–1832 calories.  The BMR is the calories my body burns at rest.  Any movement only ratchets-up the calories I burn each day.  Thanks to BodyBugg I know that number is around 2500 when I am just me, being me so when I actually make it to the gym or the trail it is nothing for me to flirt with, or exceed, 3000 calories a day.


Turns out, it’s not for me either.

I am back to not having a goal weight.


Well you see, I know enough about weight loss to know my body is going to give up a little of that muscle on the way down simply because it will no long need it to carry me around.  When I reach 30-percent body fat and if my weight is actually 183.21 pounds then maybe I could carve off a little more fat and gain some muscle but even the American female average of 166 pounds is likely going to be near the bottom end of MY personal HEALTHY RANGE so instead of putting pressure on myself to reach some magic number on the scale I am looking for something in the neighborhood of 30-percent body fat.

My friends please take my story and apply it to your own journey.  I cannot stress the importance of KNOWING YOUR BODY and finding YOUR confidence in it.

I will admit there was a tiny moment where I started to think, “But 183.21 is too much,” and then I thought, “According to whom?…after all this time are you REALLY, REALLY going to keep arguing with your body?”

That’s a big fat–bigger than my 30-inch thighs–NO!!!!!!!!!!

Instead I am left wondering, with great delight, just how big those thigh muscles really are…and wonderfully lighter and feeling amazingly free for probably the first time in my life.

My Best Advice: KNOW YOUR NUMBERS!!!!! 

This is better winning the jackpot.

I have peace and I love my strong body, curves and all, for every wonderful bit of awesome she is.

Do you want this same peace too?

Of course, you do.


If you or your doctor does not have a body fat scale look for a BodPod assessment at your local hospital.  While body fat scales are close and BodPod, or other similar device would be even more accurate, but for heavens and your sanity’s sakes, ditch the charts and quit guessing or letting someone else tell you what YOU need to lose weight and be healthy.

This girl no longer takes shit for any stupid chart.

This girl no longer takes shit from any stupid chart.




4 thoughts on “The Importance Of Knowing Your Body, OR My Final Word On Why I Do Not And Will Not Have a Goal Weight Ever Again, CI#88

  1. I am so glad that you finally found this peace! I have never listened to anyone about my weight. I know my body and I know where I feel healthy and comfortable with my weight. This is amazing for you. Your instincts were right! Good for you! I’m soooo happy you finally found the right Doctor! yayayayaya!!!!

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