Since I’m all about giving you an honest peek into my journey, let me just say I am a hyper lil’ ball o’ spaz *HUGE GRIN*
I thought I was going to feel really bummed this morning since my year is going out on a whimper in the weight loss department but instead I am so flippin’ excited about where I have been, where I am right now–all hyper and all–and where I am going to go in the next year.
So here’s how I’ve decided to let these next few blog posts play out, each Check-In (CI) is going to have a number and a letter and there will be a video in just one of that days posts and I’ll put “with video” in the title line.
Right at this very moment, I’m too spazzy to be coherent…lol…I need to make a list of the things I want to share so I don’t end up overwhelming us both.
Today is my 365th day on my weight loss journey. One year. One year that at the beginning I thought would have a very different end. So much as changed about this journey–including the name of this blog three times–and none of it is bad just different than my vision when I started.
And that brings me to one of the biggest lessons I want to share…Have a plan AND be flexible.
Kiddos the truth is you can do all the research in the world to give you all the knowledge in the world to make a “right” decision about your health BUT if you’re not willing to learn, grow, and even change your mind along the way you are going to be missing out on the whole point.
Here’s MY truth: If I had stuck to the my plan to have a vertical sleeve gastrectomy, there is more than a fair possibility I could be dead right now.
I am not about to lie to myself and I’m certainly not going to lie to you but if I had gone through with the procedure with my thyroid being out-of-control and still NOT lost weight there is zero doubt in my mind I would have been suicidal to the point I might have done something in a moment of despair.
Maybe that sounds a little heavy for someone who is bouncing off the walls but it is also part of what I am experiencing right in this moment of contemplation. I am grateful for the wise sleeve sisters who sent me messages expressing their concern about making such a drastic change to my body without a good doctor managing my thyroid.
I am grateful I took a step back to reevaluate my plan.
I am grateful to be sitting here right now feeling grateful.
In case you’re wondering, weight loss surgery is not totally off the table. And, I am still looking for a good thyroid manager. Yes, I do have a kick-ass endocrinologist in Las Vegas and the truth is he is in Las Vegas and I am not. I am still looking for someone local to me who accepts my insurance and who is interested in managing my care. If at the end of the day, great thyroid management does not help my weight loss efforts I am fully open to talking with a surgeon again.
All of this hyper-ness AND serious contemplation IS the journey. Maybe these details are not your journey and that’s cool but I promise no matter who you are this is going to be your pattern too.
My best advice:
Get comfortable and enjoy the ride.
Be willing to change.
Be willing to stand up for yourself and support your decisions.
Take confidence in your own innate wisdom.
Take confidence in your medical team–and if you don’t have one, get one and if you do have one and you’re not confident make changes.
Own your journey.
Take full responsibility for every moment–not just the successes but the not-so-successful moments too because it is okay to fail “a moment” as long as you are not too proud to stand up, dust yourself off, say whoops, and move on in the same moment (yes, sometimes it takes a while to get to that point but the faster you can go to whoops to back on track the less you are going to be fighting yourself).
So for now, I’ll leave you right now with this: In this beautiful moment I am feeling everything…and it feels fine…and I’ll be wearing new clothes in new sizes today so there’s going to be a tiny little lift in my step and twinkle in my eye.