I know, I know those of you who know me are not the least bit surprised, right.
Honestly, the reason for the change is the one bit of consistent feedback I receive is some version of, “I really like this but I would not ever read it because I don’t have fibromyalgia.” At first the comment bothered me. I mean you’re talking about one of my writing babies now. Like any protective momma I said, “My baby’s fine.”
However, the more the comments worked their way under my skin the more I realized IIIIIIIIIIIIIII would NOT be drawn to a blog with any sort of illness listed in the title. The more I thought about it the more I focused on my blog reading list and there’s not a single “sick” titled blog on the list with the exception of one written by a dear friend. I read it because she writes it but I honestly would not be drawn to it by the title alone (Sorry, E I love you!)
My personal blog and website roll is filled with wellness and empowerment. Overcoming challenges–health or otherwise–is a theme but my reading list is not exclusively about being a chronic babe. My reading list is about coaxing myself into being my best me. Yes, I’m aware of how self-centered and egotistical that sounds. And you know what? I don’t care.
Don’t judge me until you read why…
I was taught from early on to not think of myself at all. When I became a young mom my life was all about making sure my four kids had what they needed. Not only did my own personal health suffer but I did not do the best job giving my kids what they needed. No, that is not a moment of self-deprecation. The constant feelings of letting them down only turned my attention even farther from myself and sometimes toward food.
The ridiculous irony of my life is it took becoming a chronic babe to decide I mattered. If I am not well enough to take care of my family which includes two goofy dogs and a cat, then what good am I to them? To myself?
I would even submit that many chronic babes–from obesity to fibromyalgia–are chronic, at least in part, because we never thought we mattered enough to make sure our own bodies were healthy. We have spent way too much of our lives making sure our jobs and families were a priority. It is time we stomp our foot and say, “I matter, dammit.”
Now while some of you boo and hiss or vow to never read me again my wish is the same wish I have whenever I send something into the bloggosphere:
May the person who needs to read this the most, find it and be touched.
I know someone reading this needed to see those words. The me of 45+ years ago, and every year along the way, sure as hell needs to know I mattered.
Perhaps my knowing sounds narcissistic to you but I have been blogging long enough to know it is a very non-narcissistic truth. Blogs are because the reader who needs the words, finds them because the writer who needed to say them, does.
So what am I saying with my blog? What do I want to say?
The number on the scale is important…but so is how you feel about yourself the other 86, 395 seconds of the day (My scale takes about 5 seconds to display my weight).
Furthermore, how you feel about yourself while wading through health challenges is crucial to your state of wellness even when, especially when those challenges are chronic. When you are already sick, the fat talk can be especially damning.
The truth is you need to be extra nice to yourself.
I want “Weighing Healthy” to be that sometimes gentle, sometimes loud reminder that you indeed do matter…and when things are not working for you–especially blog titles–you do have the power to change them.
In fact, it is not only healthy but empowering to make changes and move forward.
You also should not be the least bit concerned about what anyone thinks.