Week 36–The Art Of Renegotiating

Renegotiating.

Maybe that is a word you do not consider when it comes to your health and your weight. But I am absolutely confident that “renegotiating” is one of those life skills that must be a part of this conversation with your body.

Why do I believe that to be true?

Well, for the simple fact you are not in control of your body… At least not complete, total, 100-percent control. The truth is there are things that are going to happen in your life that are going to affect your health and/or your weight that you will have no control over. They will be unwanted. They will be unwelcome. They may even be devastating.

Unless…

You learn how to renegotiate with your body and with all forces which may affect your goals.

No, my miracle didn’t happen.  My months-long plan that was to culminate on 9 September slipped away.  Fortunately for me, fibromyalgia and Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis have been wonderful teachers in the art of renegotiating my will with reality.

Was I disappointed?  Uhh, like totally!

But, a little research, a conversation with my hubs, and a phone call coupled with my well-honed renegotiating skills and a new plan was in place in less than a day.

Was I still disappointed? Of course.

Whenever I don’t get my way, I’ll admit that I get frustrated, angry, and I might even throw a tantrum or two. However, this was not one of those times.

This time, I chose to save my energy for other things.

The research, the conversation, and the phone call took a couple of hours to get my head back on straight. It took my heart probably the rest of the day to come on board with the new plan.  But, I didn’t really even lose the whole day to it.

Now if you’ll recall this mystery event coincided with my plan to pull my body back on track.

So then I was faced with a choice: Do I use this as an excuse to stay off track? Or, do I put one foot in front of the other and walk the line?

Here’s the thing I know… If in your heart of hearts you are looking for any reason, anyway out, any excuse to get out of achieving your dreams and your goals you will take the first exit provided to you.

Oh sure you say you really want the goal but deep down there is something you are not addressing which makes you feel like you do not deserve that thing no matter how much you want it. If you’re reading this, and anything is leaping to your mind–weight loss, health, personal, or professional–I want you to know I absolutely understand.

The most significant part of this journey–this more than decade long journey–I have been on to reclaim a healthy weight has been jettisoning all the crap other people have piled on me along the way. For sure, at least best that I can remember, other people have been telling me just how unworthy I really am of my body since I was four years old. People, that’s a lot of crap to unload. It takes work. And, time. And, love. And, courage.

So what did I do?

Yeah, you already know…

I started where I was with what little I had and I put one foot in front of the other.  My toes are gripping that track like a gymnast grips a balance beam. I am hanging on for dear life… Because my life, dreams, and goals dear and because I have finally learned that I matter, that my dreams matter…I can move forward.

The event is rescheduled but the event is not my reason for this journey. I am.

I do not need to get my way.

I do not need a perfectly normal body.

I do not need the love, the acceptance, and the support of other people.

I need to keep renegotiating my path… Not my dream… My path… And that is the difference that I feel right now.

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