Week 51–Selfish, NOT Selfish

For this second to last post on this Year of Accountability journey, I want to share a couple of experiences I had this week for the way they encapsulate how this journey has moved in my own life.

For the first, my hubs has been struggling with pain for several weeks. It finally reached the point he made a doctor’s appointment all by himself (which should tell you how much he was being bothered…lol).

Now for weeks I have been telling him he needs to be moving more and his foot pain is plantar faciitis which for as much as it hurts demands movement to heal.  Of course, he wasn’t going to believe me.

For a $25 co-pay, the doctor told him exactly what I have been telling him for weeks right down to freezing a water bottle and rolling his foot on it to simultaneously stretch the fascia and quell the pain.  BOOM!!!

But, being right is not the interesting part of the conversation.

My hubs said, “Why is it so easy for me to run get parts for my truck or chainsaw and spend whatever it takes to repair it but when it comes to my body I just can’t do it.”

Though the words may change so many people feel this way too.

One of my friends struggled to accept a gift she didn’t feel like she deserved while buying gifts for those she loves without questioning her own motives.

They both indicated it feels selfish for them to focus on themselves.

So here’s my question…

Why is is so easy for my hubs to take care of his tools and my friend her family but both struggle to feel they deserve similar attention?

It’s something I have struggled with too.  If anything, this Year of Accountability has well-documented that struggle.  With two weeks remaining, I can honestly say I deserve good health which includes a healthy weight.

Do you feel you DESERVE a healthy body?

Do you?

Really?

Then what are you doing about it?

What are YOU going to do?

Your first step has to be learning it is never SELFISH to take care of yourself.  My hubs tools sit idle when he is not feeling the best.  My friend cannot be what she wants to be to her family when she is not feeling the best.  And for both, those ‘not feeling it’ moments breed more negative feelings.

But, the struggle is real.

For a myriad of reasons, most of us are conditioned to care for things and people better than we care for ourselves.

It has to stop!

If we are serious about improving our lives–in whatever way is meaningful to us–then we have to get over feeling like we do not deserve to treat ourselves as well as the things and people we care about.

Selfish meme

Health is never selfish.

Do you hear me?

It is NOT…I repeat NOT…selfish to allow goodness into your own life.

It may take work.  Do it.

It may be uncomfortable.  Feel it.

It may be hard.  Get tough.

It may mean change.  Embrace it.

It may mean trial and error.  Experience it.

It may mean learning new things.  Study it.

It may mean growth.  Stretch for it.

I’m ready…bring it on!!!!

 

 

Week 50–look, Look, LOOK

Midweek had the hubs and I out and about.  We were at one of normal stops when I smacked his arm and said, “look, Look, LOOK.”  The focus of my excitement was the manager of the facility, who I shall call Shannon for our purposes here.  I’m pretty sure that’s not her real name but I cannot honestly be sure since I do not know her personally.

Shannon looked amazing!

She’s lost at least 100 pounds.

She’s also one of the few people in my world with thighs larger than mine.  She’s been losing weight for some time so I always try to catch glimpses of her progress.

On that midweek day, her legs were tiny–and by ‘tiny’ I mean normal sized and not excessively small.  I almost cried.  If I had they would be tears of joy and hope and not envy.

She was wearing a cute off white long sleeve pullover, jeans with two-color bold stitching and blingy pockets; and finished her outfit off with caramel hued pointy toed heels.

I’m smacking my hubs on the arm, “look, Look, LOOK…I want it all…The whole thing…the hips, the thighs, the JEANS, the SHOES…all of it.”

Shannon’s a hip-y girl like me and she still had hips but those thighs were so tiny her jeans floated over them.  In that moment, it all felt possible.

I wanted to run up to her and hug her and tell her proud I am of her.  I’m not proud of her because she’s skinny…I am proud of her because I know how painful her legs were.  Sometimes, I noticed her wince as she walked and it’s a walk I know all too well.  I’m proud of her for changing her health.  But, like I said she’s the manager at a place we frequent and not someone I know so I’m floating my gratitude to the universe.  Shannon, gives me hope.  She inspires me without even really knowing who I am.

Since hubs and I were on our way for another appointment with the Las Vegas specialist, I needed to see Shannon that day.  On that day I suspected the doc was planning more testing and I was right.  Without seeing Shannon, I might have been disappointed by the results of the appointment.  Instead, I left with peace and hope for my journey.

Here’s the moral to this story–at least as I see it–we all need to be inspired.

Sometimes we are lucky to be close to the source and sometimes we watch from afar but it doesn’t really matter as long as we come away feeling, “Yeah, I can do that!”

Right now, when I close my eyes I dream of my future with my own blingy jeans and pointy toe shoes.

Hope…it’s beautiful.

Brown Shoes

Image from Ebay, used without permission.

Week 49–On Finding Joy In The Journey

This week…I am glad its over.  Too much stress and drama for my liking.

A few weeks back–I didn’t announce it–but I made a conscious commitment to ending the year mindfully.  I did so because I was starting to live for the future.  I knew I needed to reign myself in and keep myself grounded.  The horizon of a new year looms and with it some big changes will come to my life so I wanted to make sure I was enjoying the passage of time rather than living for the future.

There have been a few words and phrases come to mind:

Savor
Ruminate
Carpe Diem
Present
Focus
Centered
Joy In The Journey
One Day At A Time
Delicious
Appreciation
Embracing Change
Living For Now
Peace

There are a lot of reasons why these words are coming to mind.  I promise you all will be revealed in due course but for now I have a question for you:

Are you enjoying your life?

I’m talking the whole journey people…even the parts you don’t like, that aren’t going your way, and even the ones you are not sure how you will survive.

Are you enjoying your moments?

No, I am not saying every moment is going to be sunshine and daisies or you should have a perma-grin or even pretend everything is hunky-dory.  I am talking about when a stressful moment descends are you working on finding enjoyment in your journey.

Are you living with the goal of having an enjoyable life?

We all have hard lessons.

We all have difficult moments.

We all have times of stress, grief, pain, sadness, worry, and/or confusion but not all of us can step back and say they find their life pleasurable.

My week was poo.  Poo times two.

But…

After I worked through the moments of shock and awe, my thoughts turned to directing my life back to my normal state…which is joy.

Again, not every moment is bliss but my goal is finding my joy in my moments of my life.

What does this have to do with weight loss, fibromyalgia, and Hashimoto’s Disease and being disabled by them plus a few other conditions?

Only everything.

Fibromyalgia and Hashimoto’s will rule my life and steal my joy whenever they please.  As they affect my body and my weight, I have to work extra hard to find, to create, to design a life I can love.

Where all these things are so far out of my control at times, I know I am always in control of how I feel about them…and that is where the joy comes.

I have three more weeks of this Year of Accountability left and I have made much peace with my journey and if that peace is something I can share with you then I hope as you read this you feel a warm hug from me to you.

IMG_6220

Our first sunrise at sea…this picture and the others in the group has become one of my rocks this year.  Even right now I can close my eyes and feel the magic of pressing my body over the balcony to get the best shot.  There is great peace, boundless joy in sea breezes…definitely one of my most joyful moments of the year.

 

Week 48–Oh Whatever!!!

Sometimes on the journey to a better life, life happens.  How you roll with those life happens moments determines your ability to stay true to your goals.

Last Thursday night, my ISP decided to cancel my service.  They said they had a termination order for the account.  I did not generate such a thing.  The account is in good standing but they shut me down anyway.

Did that give me tons of extra time to go to the gym?

Nope.

Did I go to the gym at all?

Nope.

Am I worried that my ability to roll with it is damaged?

Honestly a little but I had already planned to spend Friday on a mini-road trip with my hubs and my gym isn’t open on weekends (small town, owner operator) so I can cut myself so slack through the weekend.  Monday and Tuesday, however, was me having a total attitude problem.

Let me pause for a second to say…there’s more going on that I’m not telling you…And…I’m having some writing stress with the company I freelance for…which leads me to Wednesday…

This post was nearly finished on Wednesday morning.  It is now late Thursday afternoon and here I am again trying to steal a few minutes to get my own writing done.  Speaking of done, I am.  Done writing for them that is…just as soon as I can replace the small income I’m bringing in.

I did, however, have Quest protein peanut butter cups for breakfast and didn’t feel the least bit guilty about it.  So, I am making conscious choices while my non-health world needs to be lots less of my consciousness.  My balance is off…again.

It happens.

A lot.

But, I’m slowing tipping it back to what’s most important to me and that’s the part we all have to get very good at if we’re going to meet our health goals.  Life is going to take the reins but we can reach out and snatch them back and that makes all the difference.

Make your own difference.

No one is going to do it for you.

I got this…and so do you.