Week 51–Selfish, NOT Selfish

For this second to last post on this Year of Accountability journey, I want to share a couple of experiences I had this week for the way they encapsulate how this journey has moved in my own life.

For the first, my hubs has been struggling with pain for several weeks. It finally reached the point he made a doctor’s appointment all by himself (which should tell you how much he was being bothered…lol).

Now for weeks I have been telling him he needs to be moving more and his foot pain is plantar faciitis which for as much as it hurts demands movement to heal.  Of course, he wasn’t going to believe me.

For a $25 co-pay, the doctor told him exactly what I have been telling him for weeks right down to freezing a water bottle and rolling his foot on it to simultaneously stretch the fascia and quell the pain.  BOOM!!!

But, being right is not the interesting part of the conversation.

My hubs said, “Why is it so easy for me to run get parts for my truck or chainsaw and spend whatever it takes to repair it but when it comes to my body I just can’t do it.”

Though the words may change so many people feel this way too.

One of my friends struggled to accept a gift she didn’t feel like she deserved while buying gifts for those she loves without questioning her own motives.

They both indicated it feels selfish for them to focus on themselves.

So here’s my question…

Why is is so easy for my hubs to take care of his tools and my friend her family but both struggle to feel they deserve similar attention?

It’s something I have struggled with too.  If anything, this Year of Accountability has well-documented that struggle.  With two weeks remaining, I can honestly say I deserve good health which includes a healthy weight.

Do you feel you DESERVE a healthy body?

Do you?


Then what are you doing about it?

What are YOU going to do?

Your first step has to be learning it is never SELFISH to take care of yourself.  My hubs tools sit idle when he is not feeling the best.  My friend cannot be what she wants to be to her family when she is not feeling the best.  And for both, those ‘not feeling it’ moments breed more negative feelings.

But, the struggle is real.

For a myriad of reasons, most of us are conditioned to care for things and people better than we care for ourselves.

It has to stop!

If we are serious about improving our lives–in whatever way is meaningful to us–then we have to get over feeling like we do not deserve to treat ourselves as well as the things and people we care about.

Selfish meme

Health is never selfish.

Do you hear me?

It is NOT…I repeat NOT…selfish to allow goodness into your own life.

It may take work.  Do it.

It may be uncomfortable.  Feel it.

It may be hard.  Get tough.

It may mean change.  Embrace it.

It may mean trial and error.  Experience it.

It may mean learning new things.  Study it.

It may mean growth.  Stretch for it.

I’m ready…bring it on!!!!



2 thoughts on “Week 51–Selfish, NOT Selfish

  1. You are absolutely right. As usual. I know what my problem is. It’s the fixing it that has been a struggle. Because of the abuse through out my life, I have felt fundamentally unlovable. It is a deeply ingrained ‘upper limit problem’.
    I give and give until I’m exhausted because I never want anyone in my life to feel about themselves the way that I feel about myself. I want them to know for certain that they are loved and worthy of every good thing.
    If something good happens to me, my subconscious kicks in and says, “No. You don’t deserve that. You have reached the upper limit of the happiness that you are allowed.” I am struggling to overcome it.
    I recognized the problem via an anonymous book that was sent to me this year. 2016 will be filled with my learning to break through my upper limit. Part of overcoming is being brave enough to say it out loud. How’s that for vulnerability? 🙂
    Great post, Tanya. Nailed it!

    • The struggle IS real!!!!

      When I first found the Hendricks, the concept of “upper limit of happiness” was really tough to grasp…I’m so glad someone sent you that book….and NO it was NOT me 😛 I think I told you I only joined Facebook to catch the professor cheating…it worked….but since that is why I had a wall I also decided to fill it with as much good as I could find and they were one of the first and they have stood the test of time.

      There’s this weird thing when you start to demand better though…all of these, “Really, me?” or “Really, do I really want this?” and since I’m questioning myself then I’m also wondering if it’s the old conditioning or the new curiosity speaking which leads to more questions….and gratitude for having a tribe to offer reality checks when I’m not sure which is which.

      You have a friend here…I know you know that so we’ll do 2016 together!!!!!

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