Can I Just Quit…Please

It’s four and just a little bit days before surgery and in the past 24 hrs we found out the relief driver hubs hired decided to bail out. He’s found someone else but we won’t know until tomorrow morning if she’s going to show up much less work out.

Then, thanks to a few miscommunications we have significantly more bills than money on top of needing to go to Las Vegas three times in the next three weeks…surgery, IV vitamin/mineral therapy a week post-op, and a two-week post op…and I just feel so overwhelmed I can’t….even…IDK…what I can’t even but I just don’t even know how we’re making this all work.

I do not know how we are going to make it.

It also feels so selfish.

My sweet man works three jobs and I don’t even know if he’s going to have food to eat while I am learning to eat again.  But, I do have plenty of protein powder…but not much else.

I know if I cancelled my surgery we would have more than enough to meet our financial obligations.  But, I know I cannot even offer it to him to help ease his stress.  He wouldn’t take me seriously.  I mean I want my surgery…I am SO, SO, SO ready…but I don’t want him to suffer…this isn’t worth it.

The guilt is so strong and I feel really alone right now.

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