2017~The Year Of…

Okay before we get to that…Let’s go on a little detour shall we…

So a couple of days ago when my thoughts for this post were really starting to gel I decided to look up the opposite of the word resolution.

Do you know the opposite of resolution off the top of your head?

Yeah, me neither.

Last year’s 365 days of anti-resolutions was such a boon for me I went in search of a catchy word to use this year.

Do you know what I found?

A huge pile of negative words…

Here they are according to Merriam-Webster:

deadlock
draw
halt
stalemate
standoff
tie
doubt
incertitude
indetermination
uncertainty
aversion
disinclination
indisposition
reluctance
unwillingness
hesitation
indecision
indecisiveness
irresoluteness
irresolute
vacilliation

What?

I kid you not I stared at the screen for a good 20 minutes trying to process the weight of those words.

Even now as I’m writing this out I’m still so stunned I can hardly believe it because other than the healthy dose of doubt going into my weight loss surgery and through the rest of my resolutionless year I cannot tag a single one of those words to my experience.

Letting myself off the hook with sane, reasonable, and even downright unrealistic New Year’s Resolutions was…

liberating
freeing
courageous
beautiful
open-hearted
open-minded
brave
empowering
transcendent
transformative
light, illuminating
light, carefree
patient
compassionate
peaceful
curious
grounding
beautiful
stabilizing
and frankly, a little scary at first

But what an amazing year it’s been.  A wild ride.  In many ways one of the hardest years of my life.  To be perfectly frank, in some ways the hardness of the year helped to dull the excitement of finally, FI-NAL-LY seeing my body lose weight.  The lowlights formed an abyss however.  I consumed so much mental and emotional energy to keep me from succumbing to it that sometimes I felt that’s all I was doing.  I have been describing it as my best, worst year.  However the irony is that is where The Year of Probability helped me so much.

“Just believe things are probable,” became my peace-phrase whenever life would shove me off a cliff.

Without the weight of goals, I could just let the year be…ugly, unpredictable, gorgeous, and brave sometimes all at the same time.

My plans didn’t get ruined by all these life moments.  As I started noticing life was happening but I was still working toward nothing specific really the harder I wanted to work.  Every time life would knock me back, I would take some time to lick my wounds, and then say, “Okay Life…But, I’ve got goals to get.”  Beautiful, undefined, unlisted, unresolved goals.

I wish I could go back in time to remember if there was someone or something which inspired me to let my soul focus be believing in the power of probability but I honestly don’t remember what it was.

But as the year progress I did most definitely recognize the alchemy brewing.

So here I sit in the pre-dawn hours of 2017 still basking in that magic and grateful 2016 is so yesterday.  For as much as I learned I’m not sure I’m all too eager to repeat the violent lessons.

No sir.  No ma’am.

Today I am eager.

Eager to move forward.

Eager to apply the things I’ve learned.

Eager to prove my mettle.

So it is with great jubilation that I proclaim 2017…

The Year of…

FLUX

flux
FORAGE

forage
FANTASY

fantasy

Flux: flow, continuous change, a substance used to refine, to make fluid
Forage:to seek, to wander in search of, to collect from nature
Fantasy:unrestrained imagination, visionary ideas, forming mental images, supposition

Umm, yes please.

This is year is all about letting myself go in bolder, braver ways than I could have ever let myself fantasize about 365 days ago.  It’s about gathering-in all that is before me and using it for my own good.  It’s about allowing the probability of change without forcing it.

Having goals is great but 2016 taught me it’s not so much about creating a checklist to get to them as it is not limiting myself to one set of turn-by-turn instructions.  Sometimes those wrong turns, those dead ends, those unexpected orange cones forcing you to a single lane where you’ll be stuck for hours lead you to the most amazing moments of your life and if your too focused on the list you made under the crush of the clock striking twelve you might miss out on what you were really supposed to learn on your journey.

Be open…know what you want but be open to the 10,000 other ways you can get there.

Flux, forage, fantasy…welcome 2017.

 

 

 

 

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