April’s Results And A Decision, CI#86

Nope, I have not forgotten or abandoned this blog or my weight loss plan.  My world has been through some HUGE changes and with the changes to the Give It 100 site I needed to figure out how to bring that project to a logical conclusion.

When I started my Give It 100 project, it was to prepare for our cruise and then the cruise got pushed back to December a few weeks after starting the project.  At that time I changed the project to “unlimited” which means there was no set end date.  I did not love the idea but at the time it is what I went with.   If we’d kept our original cruise plans, I’d be on my way home from Mexico and with just a few videos left to post.  December is still a long ways away but I was sticking to the vlogs and blogs because that’s what I do, right.

Then Give It 100 changed.

While I was figuring out what to do, I happened to figure out as of today I am exactly 10 weeks away from my one year weight loss journey anniversary.

BINGO!!!

That’s when I will end my Give It 100 project.  July 9, 2014 will be my last Give It 100 video.

It is the perfect, poetic end I was looking for.

It just feels right.

Basically, I need to complete a video a week and a couple extra a long the way to reach 100 videos.  Then my question became when to post the videos.  I don’t want them to all be on my results posts so I think I’m just going to wing it but commit to at least one a week.

It fits my life right now.  And that feels right too.

So on to my results for April–one full month of adding selenium and vitamins C and E to the calcium, magnesium, and vitamins D and A I was already taking.

8.2 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never, ever, NE-VER in the history of my life have I lost 8.2 pounds in a month.  Not only did I lose 8.2 pounds but I’m almost ready to fall into the 240s…Whaaaaaaaa???????  This morning’s weight 251.8. 

I can hardly contain my excitement.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have set a fairly ambitious goal for myself just to keep myself pushing through the end of this first year.  On my last full-time working day, 21 September 2009, I happened to weigh myself even though I didn’t know it would be my last full-time day.  I weighed 236.6.

I guess you could call it my pre-fibro weight because it was before all the fibro drugs were introduced which ratcheted my weight up by two pounds a day.  Yes, a day!

Reclaiming that number is important to me.  In some mystical sort of way, it’s my victory lap of every day since then trying to figure out how to get my life back on my own terms from that beast.  And against ridiculous odds, I have managed to figure out this thing I call THRIVING.

My life is just that MY LIFE.  It doesn’t belong to fibromyalgia.

Yes, I still have fibro…but I am absolutely living, breathing, THRIVING proof it does not have me.

I want 236.6!

As of this morning that works out to be 15.2 pounds in 10 weeks or just over 1.5 pounds a week.

See, I told it was ambitious.

I know I will get it eventually.  Whether it is before 9 July remains to be seen because the truth is it is an ambitious goal for me but you damned-well better believe I am going to give it a run.

When fibro first found me, I never thought I would be able to set “an ambitious goal” again.  And yet here I am with the biggest grin on my face and tears starting to form in my eyes knowing and believing I can try.  I do not “need” to make it as much as I absolutely need to know I can still try.

Am I going to be disappointed on 9 July 2014 if I do not meet the goal?

Hell no!!!!!!

I have already lost more weight in the past 42 weeks than I usually lose in an entire year.  The rest as they say is icing on the cake….or should that be fat off my butt 🙂

 

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Two Weeks Is A Trend+Weekly Results, CI# 80 (I’m going with 80)

Well by the title you should know the scale dropped again.  Not only did it drop but it dropped four times what “my normal” usually is…1.8 pounds and .75 inches to be exact.  In the past three weeks I have lost 5.8 pounds.

What?????

Yeah.  I’m trying…really trying…to not let it go to my head but at the same time…

WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So all my Hashimoto’s peeps here’s what I’m doing different:

400IU Vitamin E
500mg Vitamin C
200mcg Selenium

That’s it.

Every.

Single.

Day.

For more than a year I have been taking:

Super D Immune Complex (vitamin A, vitamin D, magnesium, and zinc, 2 daily)
Calcium Chews (with vitamin D and phosphorous, 3 daily)

I have been taking these supplements for fibromyalgia but they happen to also support thyroid health.

I’m not exercising differently.

I am not eating differently.

In fact, I took special care to make sure I did not do anything new or different other than faithfully take the supplements Dr. Isabella Wentz recommends.

Two weeks with way above my normal weight loss results…a girl could get used to this.

UPDATE:  Thanks to the comment of a dear friend, please allow me to clarify.  When I say I am not doing anything differently I mean I am already, and consistently, eating well and moving appropriately but have NOT been seeing “normal” weight loss results.  My deficit from a combination of calorie restriction AND movement says I should lose 1-2 pounds a week, depending on the week, because one of the other things I have had to do to keep my body guessing is alter the deficit as well.  No matter what I have done my historic average weight loss is one-quarter to one-half pound per week when I again I “should be” losing 1-2 pounds per week.  I have NEVER seen those types of losses from week to week despite faithfully putting for the work.  Common sense has told me my body, and more specifically, my thyroid, is broken.  Furthermore, I would rarely see a pound or more from time to time.  So “nothing different” means I have NOT altered my food and fitness from what I have already consistently been doing.  Dozens of doctors through the years have gone so far as to accuse me of lying about what I am doing to try to control my weight because the almighty TSH test has been “normal” even though my current doctor is ill-informed about what a normal TSH actually is.  Eight months ago he told me 5.6 was “good enough” and refused to change my medication.  A normal TSH for a Hashimoto’s patient should be 2 or less.  But, it is still MY fault I am not losing weight.  Please excuse me while I roll my eyes.  This is not a case of me taking a handful of “magic beans” and watching the pounds melt away.  No way!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am WORKING for this…the difference is my body is displaying the results in a more normal pattern.  IF this is the key, I have been searching for it for TWELVE YEARS….twelve years of being frustrated but never giving up.  For the record, I am cautiously optimistic and not convinced all at the same time.  Even with taking these supplements, I am still symptomatic.  I do understand it takes the body some time to normalize when the thyroid goes off balance so I am still keeping the appointment with the endocrinologist who I hope can shed even more light on how I can help my body function properly.  And, should you be a doubting Thomas too please look at the linked video so you can see my BodyBugg results for yesterday.  BodyBugg is tamper-proof.  There is no way for me to control the data it spits out other than by moving my body.  I do manually enter my food of course.  A link to my food journal is posted on my fitness page on Facebook if you would like to check that out too. 

I’m Tellin’ Ya, It’s The Little Things, CI#76

Disclaimer: This is an exact copy of my Facebook post so if you’re a Facefriend I haven’t changed a word.  Some non-Facefriends asked for the details and I had intended to write something similar here but last night my daughter ended up in the ER and we did not get out until the wee hours of this morning.  Here’s my GiveIt100 video to go with it.  My best advice: Pay attention to the little things.

I know I profess my love for the internet and Facebook more than most people and I’m okay with it because without either I simply would not be who I am…or…as healthy as I am.

Over the weekend I hit a huge research goldmine and my husband quipped, “The internet is the best doctor you’ve had so far.” Sadly, he is not far off. So here I am again to profess my love.

You see my Hashimoto’s started falling off the cliff last week. When it changes it is usually not so violent for lack of a better word so I knew something triggered it. That is what sent me researching in the first place, I found some gems, including the suggestion of a positive FB support group. I joined with partially held breath but so far it is a good one.

Somewhere in the back of my still-fogged mind sits a little mouse pouring over every single thing trying to figure out what I’ve done to cause this flare. The mouse squeaked just as I was getting into bed, “Excuse me please but haven’t you been eating a lot of strawberries.”

Now I’m talking I was in the act of getting into bed, in that awkward space where you have to lay down to get back up. “Do not get up….just write yourself a reminder in your phone and go to sleep.”

One of the very first things I did this morning was to ask my new group if a single food could trigger a flare and explained how strawberries were on sale so I’ve been eating them almost daily when I normally do not. In less than five minutes, I learn for the first time in my 20+ years as a patient that strawberries are mildly goitergenic, which means they suppress thyroid function.

DING DING DING BINGO YAHTZEE WE HAVE A WINNER, WINNER CHICKEN DINNER.

Bloody hell.

Chronic friends PLEASE keep track of what you eat, even just informally, because sometimes we are not doing the right things for our medical conditions even though we’re doing “healthy” things because I submit 5-6 strawberries at breakfast are generally considered healthy AND unhealthy when it’s every day for a week AND you have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. Since I was eating them closest to my medication it’s highly likely my serum levels are a touch off.

As the owner of this body, I take full responsibility. No more breakfast berries. Totally MY fault. Friends, I know it is hard to admit but sometimes we ARE causing ourselves more grief. It is innocent and no one likes to change but damnit how many more times do I need to prove it to you. I WILL be back to normal in a few days I am sure.

For the millionth time…..It is the tiny things, the tiny changes, the ones so small you may not even stop to consider until you are really willing to find better–not cured–just better. However bad you are feeling at this very moment, there is better waiting for you when you put in the time and effort to find it. STRAWBERRIES people…it can be as stupid as strawberries.

Coincidence, I Think NOT–Weekly Results, CI#77

Now, if you read yesterday you might have caught a little tip-off to this week’s results reveal.

These results in the context of that information just really make me stop and wonder.  If you’ve been following at all, you know I’m plagued with frustratingly slow weight loss.  Of course, when my body picks up the pace I pay attention.  Not only do I pay attention I start putting every detail under the microscope, so to speak, to figure out a pattern so I can repeat it.  Like I said yesterday, I have never stumbled upon the “it” to replicate so I have been at the whim of a body I have failed to understand.

No, I am not saying I am a failure.  I’m only saying I have never found the right thing to do over and over again.  I’m me so I have also never given up and yesterday I potentially stumbled on that it.  If you’re not following along, go read yesterday’s post because it is more than I can explain again concisely.

So no more teasing, here’s this week’s BEST WEEK EVER results:

If I count the “fake” weight I lost…..THREE POUNDS THIS WEEK.

If I do not count the “fake” weight I have lost…. 0.8 pounds this week.

Either way, it is well above “my normal.”

Fake weight is the weight brought on my hypothyroid/Hashimoto’s when I have tracked every calorie and movement to prove I should not be gaining.  It always disappears so I have learned not to count it for at least two weeks except this time it took three weeks to return and then lose more than my previous lowest weight.

At 256 pounds I am well in the range of where I was before I stopped gaining weight because of Lyrica and Cymbalta and on my way back to the weight I was before those two nasty drugs found me.  It puts me two pounds above the 12 pounds, in 12 days when I first started taking them.

For a reality check, my old “speed” of one-quarter of a pound per week would not have brought me to this point in a single year.  Keep in mind that was pre-fibromyalgia when I was much more active than I am now.  In fact, I have lost 21.4 pounds since July 7, 2013.  In my entire life, I have never lost 20 pounds in a calendar year.  Right now, I am at 21.4 pounds in just under eight months.

For me, it’s a big deal…like HUGE!!!!!!!!!!

So here’s the “coincidence:” My selenium, manganese, and vitamins A, C, and E have also been closer to the amounts recommended in the article I referenced yesterday than they normally are (my normal).  I went back through my records and proved the phenomenon time and time and time again.  Now, maybe it is just a coincidence but you’d better believe I am putting it to the test.

My plan for the week is to replicate last week as much as I possibly can to see if I can prove the coincidence.

I also lost .75 inches.

Oh please, oh please, oh please, PRETTY PLEASE….Let this be the thing.  PUH-LEASE!!!!!!!!

Some Interesting Thyroid Research And An FYI, CI#76

Let’s start with the FYI….So Give It 100 made some changes to their site based on user feedback.  Now, instead of being able to catch-up missed days the count starts from wherever you left off.  I missed most of the week so while this should be CI#76 on the Give It 100 site, it’s video 73.  I haven’t quite decided what to do about the mismatched numbers.  I’ll think on it more tomorrow.

Now about the research…

So I read an article about the vitamins and minerals the thyroid uses to process the hormones and how in Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis patients those nutrients are often in short supply.  Of course, I started wondering how my own records stack up to the claim of the article.

Thank God (no that is not a vain comment) I have been keeping excellent records with Fitday.com and can access the breakdown of these specific nutrients with just a few clicks of my mouse.

The results were very interesting.  I was able to undercover a correlation between lower levels of some of the nutrients and dismal to non-existent weight loss.  Conversely, I found higher levels correlated with better results.

Hummmmmmmmmm, very, very interesting.

Oh you know I’m going to follow this and see where it goes.

For over a decade I have said, “It doesn’t seem to matter how many calories I eat because there is no rhyme or reason to my body losing weight.”  There was even a time about eight years ago I proved I could gain AND lose weight eating an average of 1800 calories.  I never could figure why.

This has been my “normal” weight loss story since 2002.

Yeah, TWELVE YEARS!!!!

I did everything I could think of to switch things up to find the “magic” my body needed.  I never found the “it” I was searching for simply because the only thing I could prove is it really did not matter how much I exercised or what sort of food plan I followed my average remained about one pound per month.

ONE POUND!!!!!

My inability to find the “it” is what lead me to almost have weight loss surgery last year.  However, interestingly enough on the advice of several fellow Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis patients who have had weight loss surgery and are still battling to lose weight and whose universal recommendation was to not follow with surgery through without a good endocrinologist on my team; I decided to step back and continue to work on finding the right specialist to make sure such a drastic intervention would not be fruitless. My current doctor is not a specialist and refuses to re-test my antibody levels since my TSH is “normal.”  I know, I know…You’re screaming at the screen.

Sigh.

At least for the time being, it was the right decision because there is nothing to convince me my thyroid is working properly if my body is failing to release weight while having a “normal” TSH, a reduced calorie diet, and sufficient exercise.

This feels like the closest to “it” I have ever come.  It makes all the randomness make sense.  If my body doesn’t have the right micronutrients my thyroid needs to function at optimum levels then it really isn’t going to matter what I do.  Broken things do not work until they are fixed…all the way fixed.  It is a universal law.  All the mornings I started at the amber pill bottle and wondered what was wrong with the pills and my body.

“Why can’t you get along?”

I swallowed those pills every morning without the least bit of faith they would actually work.  They weren’t working…together.  I have known it for a decade.

Tonight is the first time any of my experience makes the tiniest sliver of sense.

As I looked up each nutrient, suddenly some of my food cravings made sense.

I actually get a little twitchy and sad if I go too many days without carrots.  You read that right, carrots.

I crave them more than chocolate.

Seriously.

Carrots give my body Vitamin A.

Second to carrots, my body screams for peppers.  Peppers give my body Vitamin C and anatabine, which helps negate the effects of the thyroid antibodies my body produces.  I have craved peppers my whole life.  As a child, I would rather have a sweet green pepper than an apple any day.  The substance is also in potatoes (and all others in Solanaceae family).  Do you remember I devoted an entire post to the lovely vegetable.  As it turns out, research has proven anatabine and vitamins A and D combine to combat inflammation.

If you are reading this and have fibromyalgia, apparently the “rule” to avoid the Solanaceae family, also known as nightshades, could actually be pain increasing and potentially dangerous dietary advice if you also have Hashi’s. Furthermore, one of the commonalities between the two diseases is gut absorption problems so it likely we need more than the RDA of each nutrient to actually “get” what our bodies need.

Interestingly enough, according to the article I linked anatabine is also present in another nightshade, tobacco, and most Hashi’s patients report a worsening of symptoms after quitting smoking.

Guess when I was at a normal weight?

The same freakin’ period of time I was a smoker.

When did I balloon up and suddenly become “unable” to lose weight?

Yep, when I quit smoking.

SERIOUSLY!

Another of my must have foods are nuts and seeds.  These little gems are chock full of three of the other key nutrients–Vitamin E, selenium, and manganese–and I eat them regularly.  Cravings for them are not as strong as carrots but I do notice I “need” them from time to time.  Without them even a normal thyroid will struggle and those with a compromised thyroid may never find relief from their symptoms.

Is it possible my body is actually pretty smart?

My body…the one I have spent the last decade bitching about…smart?

Is the morale of this story: NEVER GIVE UP!

So it seems…on both counts.

Disclaimer:  I am not a medical professional.  I am a frustrated and seeking patient.  No information in this post is meant to be or substitute for medical advice.  Please consult your doctor about all medical decisions including dietary changes.

 

 

Stressful Day, CI#71

I’m cranky.  I’m tired.  And I am only posting this so my conscious will be clear because the last thing I need is something else to feel cranky about.

To save time and because my brain is fried I’m copying what I posted on Facebook (if you’ve read it, I apologize):

You’re about to read something I do not often say….I’m a stressed-out, anxiety-ridden, on-the-verge-of-tears mess. Hubs received an email from our landlord this morning. He called him first thing. Apparently there is a deal in the works involving our house and the house next door. In case you don’t remember, we live at the edge of a commercial zone so we’re zoned mixed use. If the buyer can secure both properties, he can develop the land for commercial use. It’s a both or nothing because of the zoning requirements. If the deal goes through, we’ll need to move mid-May. So we have to plan for a maybe. Considering the market is swinging up in our area and comparable rents are up to more than we make in an entire month. Yeah, for just rent. I looked at one today for a cool $4,200 a month. How can people here afford such a thing? They fly to L.A. to work. Seriously. Finding something in our price range will be nothing short of an actual miracle. Then there’s the matter of our business which we can do here and may not be able to do somewhere else. This would be one of those moments when my former counselor would say, “Why don’t you just get mad and cry?” He was awesome but I never could quite get him to latch on the “fibro girls throwing a tantrum no matter how well deserved have consequences” concept. Can fibro please just go away so I can have a proper meltdown without spending a week or more recovering.

FACEDESK!!!!!

Wait…what does any of this have to do with losing weight?  (Notice I am asking that question a lot?  Well, it is because things you would ever imagine have an impact on my, and your, success.)

People tend to overeat when under duress.  It is a fact and if you are trying to lose weight one of the best things you can do is keep tabs on your stress levels.

So did I have a pig-out?

NOPE!

A couple of fingernails didn’t survive, however.  In my defense, they were already peeling and/or ragged thanks to Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis.  But, my calories and food choices were on point.  My activity was a bit off thanks to the flashing neon sign in my head “We have to move.  We have to move.  We HAVE to MOVE,” but I already have plans to get out of the house tomorrow.  The weather is supposed to be rainy and 15 degrees cooler but I’m going out no matter what…at least that’s my plan…I think.

PS…It wasn’t all bad…this morning I saw 257.6 this morning…and believe you me it was HUGE motivation to not find huge piles of chocolate and swim in it 🙂

 

It Was Better Than The Beach, CI#56

Yes, these are out-of-order and that is okay.  I did not have computer access Saturday night through Sunday (technically the wee hours of Monday) and the break-neck schedule beat me up, to be honest.  I also needed a few days to find my words and vanquish some pain.  I am not pain-free but I am pain-lowered enough to finally write about Sunday and I say that with my TENS unit firmly affixed in an attempt to bust the stragglers.

So on to Sunday…

My daughter, who also happens to have fibromyalgia, had a photo shoot in Anaheim, CA at Wonderland Studios.  She was more than a little trashed from moving back to Utah to accept a teaching position at her former school and her car was still in the shop and the rental company needed someone over 25-years old as the driver so I jumped at the chance to go home to CA.

The plan was to drop her off at Wonderland and head to Newport Beach for a blissful day at the beach.

It was a lovely plan until we only managed three hours of sleep the night before.  Besides to say we were on a shoestring budget would have been an exaggeration of how much money we actually had.  Money worries and tubs of free beverages were luring me into staying inside on a crystal clear Southern California day.

I did not want to hang around the studio.

Emily is a big girl now and certainly does not need her mommy.  This is also a professional experience for her so I did not want to give off the impression I did not trust her or she is in need of a chaperone because neither are true.  And, I really wanted to go to the beach.

When we removed her dress from the bag and the pile of wrinkles told me I would need to work on the dress while she was in hair and makeup.

No problem, I can still make the beach.

I have never been behind the scenes at a shoot of this magnitude–a half-dozen photographers on set for a clinic taught by world-renowned photographer Fred Blood with full hair and makeup teams for the half-dozen models.

The energy was electric.

The stage–Wonderland Studios–was a vision.

I was so overwhelmed I kept closing my eyes just to be able to “see” new things.  Part of the studio is a working costume and corset shop so there are miles, no acres of raw materials draped everywhere with rows and rows of completed creations just waiting for their turn under the lights.

Wonderland, oh yeah!

“Mom, I need a big Red Bull and a straw, please,” and off I went.

After I finished her dress, I steamed and spot cleaned one of the other gowns.  Then it was time to help her get dress so the makeup team could finish her hair.

IMG_4781It is an odd moment seeing your child in a wedding gown and I am sure it is even odder were she actually getting married.

I found myself grateful she was only playing dress-up.  When the real day comes, I can look back on the weekend and remember it was no big deal the first time.  That is the plan anyway.  You and I both know I will be a ball o’ tears.

As time went on, my own exhaustion rose.

The beach did not sound like fun.

All that sun would have zapped me even more.

The studio was cool and funky-fun and the energy sustaining.

So, I stayed.

 

Eventually, I pulled out my camera–I had wanted to from the moment I crossed the threshold–and started shooting behind-the-scenes photos.  No seemed to mind so I kept shooting in between handfuls of trail mix and glugs of Lipton Iced Tea with Lemon.

What no one in that room knew, is I started my adult life as a professional photographer.  I worked for two different traveling studios; the type you might see in a big box store.  I have taken thousands of portraits in my career so I do know a few things about staged shoots.  Then when I went back to college and started working at the newspaper I called on those skills to help me become a decent photojournalist.  I was reliving a past heaven.

This is purposely UNcropped.  I love the whole behind the scenes, not perfectly lit or positioned vibe.  And her look is just adorable but I may be biased.

This is purposely UNcropped. I love the whole behind the scenes, not perfectly lit or positioned vibe. And her look is just adorable but I may be biased.

I absorbed everything I was seeing through those old eyes and it sure helped me forget being emotional about watching my girl work.  But it is like I always say, “Put a camera in my hand and pain just melts.”

This was a mostly good pain though.  My baby is not a baby anymore and I was proud to watch her from behind the lights.

The bad pain was knowing her exhaustion level matched mine while having to be “on” for the thousands of clicks.

It took me about a half an hour or so to realize staying in that space was actually the better experience.  You all know me well enough to know I am all about living my fibro through experiencing life.  That beach is probably going to stay exactly where it is but I may never be in Wonderland Studios again.  The thought was a shot of adrenaline.  This–being in this space–was better than the beach.

At some point Fred asked Emily if she would stay after for an extra shoot with just him.  All the other photographers made a point of telling Emily he never does that.  He wanted to take her proper bridal hair and makeup and destroy it and then shop the photos for publication.

Like she’s going to turn that down, right.

She looked tired but I do not think she minded one bit.  In this business, these types of experiences are golden moments which can make a career.

And, I kept shooting…sitting right next to Fred, the totally awesome photographer, the whole time.

From formal to fantasy

From formal to fantasy

L to R Rayma, Emily's friend/boss/stylist; Emily, Fred...because it really does take a full team to make these things happen

L to R Rayma, Emily’s friend/boss/stylist; Emily, Fred…because it really does take a full team to make these things happen

Emily said she thought she looked like the Joker's love child but I think she's got some chops.

Emily said she thought she looked like the Joker’s love child but I think she’s got some chops.

Of course, the thought, “But wait…this is not what fibro girls do,” thought crossed my mind.  No sooner, the “Oh hell yes this is how THRIVER girls do it,” joined in because the truth is at that very moment 50-percent of the people in that studio had, and were THRIVING, fibromyalgia.

I almost let this day slip through my fingers like the sand at the beach I never touched.

I blame exhaustion for the delay in recognizing the unique moment before me because I was focusing too closely on how things should be and what I should be doing.

But isn’t that one of the traps of fibro in the first place.  We can should be ourselves into a pile of pain instead of enjoying what is.

It is four days later and I am just barely starting to feel normal…err, my normal…again.

Am I complaining?  Oh hell no!!!!!

That day beat my body up worse than the roughest road my husband has bounced me on in search of firewood but I enjoyed an uncommon experience.

Yes, pain was my reward.

And I can either look at that reward as hell or happiness.  My choices are to either sit here fussing about hurting over doing something I shouldn’t or smiling while rejoicing at being blessed with such an amazing moment.

I’m a smiler.

But, you already knew that.

As for the food, fitness, and weight loss aspect, all I have to say is thank goodness it was a Reward Day.  Carbs everywhere all over the snack table.  Chips, popcorn, and soda…Oh my. But, I can, rather proudly say, I did not go nutso.

No wonder models come off as “too good for carbs” because no sane human, concerned about health and fitness is going to inhale that crap all day.

Had it not been Reward Day I might have felt guilty over being so far off plan but in the context of the situation I am sure I would have told myself, “Shut up and shoot” because that is how I live my pain…THRIVER style.

 

PS….I know on Sundays I usually update you on my progress but I did not even think to pack my tape measure.  I was a bloated mess anyway.  As of today, I am still up a couple of pounds but I am also still retaining water from the weekend.  I’m honestly scared for Sunday’s result post because I am afraid it’s not going to look pretty at all.  I guess if I have to be honest, my one regret about the weekend is I have essentially lost this week as a “losing” week.  I dearly wish my body was not this way but this is just my normal even though I know it is not normal.  I would love to find someone to explain to me why just one big day like this throws my body into such a tailspin.  BUT…I would do it again this weekend if my girl needed me to.  I would go back to Wonderland Studios in a heartbeat.  I would hangout with Fred and Rayma any day.  And, c’mon…California…like I have to even think about it.  As much as I love my red rocks it will always be home.

 

 

But I Don’t Wanna Go, CI#58

My hubs company dinner is in just a couple of hours and there is not part of me that wants to go.  But, I am going.  It is one of the few nice things his company does and the only thing which the wives are included.  Since I am going–yes, I could have decided not to go but honestly it would have meant I had to cook dinner so free food it is–I have to look presentable.  It is not only the way I was raised but part of my commitment to myself.  I am not less than human or normal because I have chronic pain so I refuse to look anything less than my best and that happens to be a wildly fluid concept.

Too many pain people talk about not looking “human” or “normal” in public and how it makes them feel badly about themselves.  Frankly, the pain life is hard enough without adding to it so even though I hurt like the dickens I took a shower, slapped on some makeup, and did as little as possible to my hair which translates to big, wild, funky hair.  The wind is gusting so there’s really no point in trying to control it anyway.  Go big or stay home, right?  Right!

I realize none of that has to do with losing weight with fibromyalgia–or does it?

Each day I, like every other fibro chick, have to make decisions about my health including what I am going to eat.  The honest truth is I’ll eat better going out.  That’s right.

At the restaurant, I will pick the healthy choices–most likely a lean steak, a sweet potato without butter, and fresh veggies–but if I stay home I can almost guarantee it is going to be some version of “crap in a pan” that I know my men folk will eat.  Part of the reason is because we do not have lean steak and fresh veggies today.  It is just where we are financially at the moment.  The other part is the work of cooking is overwhelming right now.  So it is actually easier on me to look “human” and go out.

Aside from the actual food choices, choosing to take my pain and live is the absolute best choice I can ever make.  It would be so easy, too easy for me to sit back curled up with my massage pad and a blankie and watch hours of mindless television and from time to time, I do make that choice.  However, the more fibromyalgia and my other medical conditions limit my ability to do things I want to do–and even things I do not want to do but should do–the less of me there is.  Maybe it is egotistical but I like me just fine thank you very much.  My big hair and I are going out to dinner.  We will hate most of our dining companions but the steak will be awesome.

My bottom line, the line that is more my weight or pain, is this is my life and I will live while aspiring to THRIVE.

Just Do It, CI#36

It is my favorite advertising slogan of all time.

Just Do It.

In my opinion, it should be the official slogan of fibro, and other, disabled people.

Up until the last six months or so I have been in up to two dozen “support groups” and I inevitably see posts a couple of times a week where a patient will rant about her or his doctor suggesting exercise.  Those rants are never pretty.  The truth is they are mostly a whole bunch of non-movers enabling someone else to become a non-mover too.

So here’s a harsh truth I’ve been fibro-slapped for numerous times, fibro is not going to kill you no matter how much it hurts but inactivity especially if it accompanied by obesity and/or diabetes is certain death. 

The truth is bodies…ALL BODIES…are made to move.  Fibromyalgia is NOT a free pass to a movement free life.  

JUST DO IT!!!!!!!

Yes, I know it is hard but you literally have your life in your hands…err sneakers.

The great thing….yes, I said GREAT…is fibro bodies do not need to move as much or an intensely as normal bodies to see positive benefits.  Don’t believe me?  Check out these articles.  They are what I based my health reclamation plan on:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0012313/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3165132/

 

My personal experience echoes the results of these studies.  Plus, I do NOT…N-O-T…know a single person who is managing their fibromyalgia symptoms well who is not a regular mover.

JUST DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!

I started with increasing my ability to handle functional movement such as cleaning or grocery shopping because I already knew every movement counts so I needed to make those movements things I could do without help, most of the time.  Honestly it took nearly three years to figure out how to accomplish activities of daily living with far less pain than when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.  Can I get through the grocery store 100-percent of the time without piles of extra pain?  No.  BUT…the extra pain has become the exception rather than the rule.  Once I felt I had those things licked I moved on to less functional movement and toward muscle preserving, flexibility increasing, and cardiovascular strengthening movement–what you might think of as exercise, in the traditional sense.  The phrase “low and slow” often appears in the literature about fibromyalgia and exercise but for some reason we, as patients, and our doctors gloss over this very crucial element to any plan to exercise with fibromyalgia.  Depending on your personal situation, you may need to start with one, single minute.

Really!

One minute…if that is all your body will allow the work within that limit until you can build to two minutes…no matter how long it takes.  Expect it to take time.  How much, I cannot tell you because each of us is so different but I can promise you if you will be faithful to whatever tiny number you start with it WILL make a difference.

JUST. DO. IT.

Your life, the length and quality thereof, depends on it.

Just.

Do.

It.

Besides, if you are trying to lose weight with fibromyalgia you cannot escape the need to exercise.

If it helps invest in some Nikes to remind you to keep those toes moving.  But these Nikes have a special purpose I will tell you about later.

😀new kicks

 

 

A Plate Of Pasta Bigger Than My Head, CI#30

Nope.  I didn’t finish it.  I did not even try.  I had no desire to even try to hork it all down.

It was perfectly al dente and smothered in red gravy and jambalaya spice and I still resisted.

I picked out all the shrimp, andouille sausage, and chicken and ate less than one-quarter of the pasta.  If I had to guess it was a half pound of  cooked linguine.  The tiny bit I ate is already brewing in my guts but I am not one bit sorry I ate it (ask me again at 2 a.m. if I feel that way).

I, however, could not resist the lure of creme brulee.

That, I regret.

The perfectly crunchy, just-shy-of-burnt top and the bean-flecked custard were not obscenely sweet but just right.  The serving was even “normal” sized.

Of course, it is all wrong on non-reward day.

I asked my hubs on the way out to the car, “Why did you let me get dessert?”

“Because you never do.”

His words keep ringing in my ears.

I never get dessert.

He is not exaggerating.

In fact, the last time I had dessert from a restaurant was on my birthday two years ago when we shared a fried ice cream.

So I had creme brulee.  It’s over.

After a cup of pasta and dessert, I am grateful tomorrow is a low carb day.

But, would you like to know the totally cool part of the night next to my fabulous new haircut?

It was coming home slithering out of the pants the pasta didn’t like and coming to Fitday.com to plug my whole meal in and finding out I only exceeded my calorie budget by 59 calories for the whole day.

Yeah.

FIFTY-NINE!!!!!!

I am going to hit my burn target for the day so I am still going to have an appropriate deficit to induce weight loss.

A decadent meal of Cajun delights and I did not “spoil” my day because 90-percent of the pasta they served me is in the dumpster where it belongs.

I win!!!!!!!!! and it feels fan-freakin-tastic.

In the interest of full disclosure, I intended on bringing another cup of the pasta home and having it for breakfast with a fried egg on top but I left the tiny to-go box sitting on the table.

Oh look, I win again *huge grin*

Besides, I’m actually rather certain I will still be full in the morning.

Non-scale victories all over the place!!!!!!