2016~The Year of Probability

That’s what I dubbed it and oh baby was it ever!!!

Last year I decided to try something radical.  I made no resolutions.  No goals.  Squashed all expectations.  Instead I forced myself into letting the year just be.  Not letting myself off the hook with the work…Oh no, no, no.  But really unhooking the mindset that if I do A, B, and C perfectly then X, Y, and Z will be my rewards.

Gah!

Hardest thing ever!!!!!

But this is my body so c’mon it’s way past time for me to drop that nonsense, right?  I mean if you’ve been following along for even five minutes you know that’s my “MY” body.  So I quit.

probability-quote

I embraced probability.  I knew I was having weight loss surgery so therefore I would probably lose weight.

Probably.

Yep that’s all I was giving myself.

After years of ABC = XYZ thinking I had to let go.  Honestly, it’s the only thing I hadn’t tried (kinda like having weight loss surgery).

And guess what?

The world did not end.

Well, hell.

You mean to tell me I do not need to be all wrapped up in minutia?  I don’t need to be perfect?  I don’t need to work harder?  I don’t need to spend countless hours planning and scheming?

“No darling girl…this is not what you and your body need.”

“Oh…”

Guess what else?

I had the most successful year of my life in terms of feeling peace and contentment with the body I have.

Well, whattaya know!

Having weight loss surgery in March was no guarantee in my mind.  Over 12 years of diet failure makes it really hard to get excited about anything, even something as radical as weight loss surgery, actually working.

But it did.

It worked beyond all my timid fantasies and certainly beyond my ability to believe.  It worked in part because I worked.  I put in the effort with zero expectation of reward.  Win, lose, or draw I knew there was no going back so my commitment had to be something other than losing X number of pounds.  My 2016 commitment was to just be the same me I’ve been for years.  You know the one who’s been eating right and exercising appropriately.  That’s me under the flab anyway.

Me with a vertical sleeve gastrectomy is over 80 pounds lighter.

I am almost at the end of my losing phase and on to my living phase.

In less than 10 months!

I promise you no one is more shocked than I am.

In less than 10 months my body and this tool combined to do what my body and no tool could not in over a decade of working at all of a lot harder than I am now.

I am NOT dismissing the work  I am doing now.  Just highlighting how even with so much more effort I wasn’t able to arrive where I am now.

This is what MY body needed.

I mean just look at the difference!!!

I am so grateful I was brave enough to try and to believe in the power of probability.  I am also infinitely grateful for the many lessons remaining open to all that is probable have brought to me.

Tomorrow I’ll announce my focus for 2017 and how I am putting the lessons of this year into even deeper practice.

PS…I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long!!!  My computer crashed in November.  Then in December a partial small bowel obstruction put me in the hospital for eight days.  I am so grateful to be coming back into me so strong on the last day of the year.  I love that it’s ending just as it began.

 

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August Goals: Be The Moon

My August plan is rather simple: Be The Moon.

No, I’m not sleep deprived.

Wait, yes I am but I thought of this before I woke up at 2 a.m.  So ppbbbttt!

Be the moon?  What does that mean?

The moon seems so mystical and mysterious but she’s really not.  She hangs out in the sky doing her job.  She orbits the Earth and in doing so she pulls the tides.  Her consistency is so predictable you can time her efforts.  The moon is never frittering around with things that don’t matter.  She knows her place in the Universe and she does her job.  Simple.

Be the moon!!!  I can do that.  I know the work.  I know I can do it.

Here’s how I am going to be the moon…

Liquids, minimum 80oz
Protein, minimum 70g
Fiber, minimum 20g
Supplements, daily
Prescriptions, daily
Movement, daily

That’s my job as a post-op weight loss surgery patient anyway, right?  Yes, right!

If I just produce my average results, I could hit 199.9 by the end of August.

But…199.9 is not my goal.

My goal is to be consistent.  Like the moon.

When I do it, goals are crushed.

That damned ol’ scale will fall but I don’t need to arrive at the end of the month at the same time as a particular number.  The number will happen…as long as I am consistent so the more predictable and moon-like I become the faster I’ll get to see it.  It’s not a race, however, it’s a commitment to doing all the little things.

Excuse me while I put myself into orbit…

Lowest Known Adult Weight

211.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did it.  I’m still in a little bit of shock.

My lowest known adult weight was 212.2 on 10/24/05.  It was a few months after I became only the second person in my family to graduate college with at least an Associate’s degree.  But, I actually had two of them and on my way to a Bachelor’s degree.  I also was getting divorced.

The regain was slow–10 pounds in the following two years–but it did happen.  Then I remarried in 2008, found out he was clinically insane (no, really like the stuff of horror movies), got divorced again, was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and gained over 50 pounds in four months as the side effects of the medication took hold.

I went from healthy and active to disabled and gaining weight I didn’t earn in less than eighteen months.

It was heart-wrenching.

Then in 2010, I kicked the medications to the curb and demanded my life back.

It’s been a long, slow journey to here and I absolutely know having weight loss surgery was the right tool for me and my body.

I have been curious how I would feel about getting here.  I have lost all the weight of those painful moments and have arrived at a weight when I felt my most triumphant.  I was curious if that feeling would return too.

It has.

It’s taken me just less than two months to lose 11 pounds so I’m giving myself two months to lose 11.1 pounds and see 199.9.

Onederland…you’re mine.Goals Quote

 

 

In My First 100 Days

I have planned this post for quite some time but I’m just finishing it up this morning.  It’s too hot to sleep with the desert southwest under a heat advisory–111 degrees today–so I might as well wrap this up before I decide too much time has passed and it feels lame.

My 100th day home from the hospital was Saturday June 18.

It seems unreal.

When I had 100 days before surgery, it felt like time was crawling.

But isn’t that always the way?

So what has the first 100 days brought me?

Let’s start with the obvious:

50.9 pounds of weight lost
3.8-percent body fat lost
25.25 inches lost (measuring right limbs only)
4 jean sizes down
3 shirt sizes down
3 dress sizes down
1-1.5 shoe sizes (yes, for reals and depending on the shoe)
2.25 pounds of muscle GAINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are all measurable outcomes and they are completely mind blowing to the point I knew I had to frame them in this context.  I needed to write this out because I need to see it so much more than I need to share it.  I know my fellow WLSers totally understand how the brain and body are so out-of-sync especially at the beginning.

But what else have I seen, done, heard, and felt in these first 100 days?

The inside of a swimming pool…
I can hold Tree Pose again…
“Slow down…you’re walking too fast.”  (It’s hilarious to me actually)…
I have little baby abs starting to poke out from under my ‘melon’ of belly fat…
My rib cage…(but when I lay on my back there’s a good size depression)
My son said, “Mom…You’re getting some guns.”
I can do a forward fold and put 3/4 of palm on the floor…
I jumped across a small ditch but it was wider than my leg span so it was a full jump…
Realizing just how utterly amazing my nutritionist is…
My commitment to keep my goals health-focused rather than scale focused is stronger…
I can wash my whole back…(with a jacked shoulder this is a big deal)
A greater sense of confidence in the whole of my journey…
I trust my body…(so weird after all these years of putting in the work without reward)…
Less to almost zero acne …(46 years old and I can FINALLY stop using zit cream)
The positive changes it’s had on my family’s attention to their own health…
How many times I did NOT resort to food when faced with unimaginable stress…
That I actually learned to like water…(most days, most days…lol
That I haven’t needed to be perfect one million percent of the time…
I want to do squats…

I could probably do this for an hour or more but I think this is a good list to hold on to.

My point is having weight loss surgery does change the number on the scale but it also changes you and those around you in so many ways that cannot be quantified or anticipated.  I am grateful 99.99-percent of the changes in my body, life, relationships, and world have been positive.  So grateful!!!

It has definitely not been all sunshine and daisies.  It’s been a lot of hard work and making choices I would have rather not like getting that next bottle of water to go down or fixing myself a meal slightly different than the one I cooked for my family.  But, isn’t that the junction of success…doing the things you know are wise and prudent even when you would really rather not?

I love this quote by Jim Rohn and think it absolutely applies to the post-op life.

Jim Rohn Quote

This Month Was Better

In case you don’t remember, last month my home-from-the-hospital anniversary ended up being rather emotional.

My progress was stalling.

My body felt off.

The old, familiar feelings of “WHY, WHY, WHY…isn’t this working?” were swirling.

Thankfully, I recognized and honored those feelings and decided to share them with my seriously amazing nutritionist.  Through a chain of emails we pinpointed the suspected culprit in my diet and eliminated it immediately.  Ten days after discontinuing the preservative-laden lunch meat my body felt like it was getting back to normal–yep, a protein…a legal, nutritionist-approved protein–knocked my body out of whack and ground my progress to a halt.

I didn’t assume I was in a natural stall.

I listened to my body.

I did NOT listen to people who were telling me I should just ‘be happy’ with my progress so far or that I was being too hard on myself.  They haven’t lived in this body so there’s no way they could know but I couldn’t help but wonder maybe they were right.

Instead, I asked for help with confidence I was right something was wrong.

I found solutions.  Simple, simple, simple solutions to get me back on track.

I’ve been trying to lose weight for over a decade and have experienced a similar scenario more times than I can count but I have never had the level of professional support I have now and for me that is what is making all the difference.

Yes, having a vertical sleeve gastrectomy helped.  A lot.

BUT…

Without the custom attention of my brilliant nutritionist, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

I like it here.

I like the success I’m having.

I really like how almost predictable it is.  It’s only almost predictable because let’s face it…autoimmune disease is a roller coaster of crazy body blowouts…but I have been able to wrangle my body back into submission faster than ever.

I like having confidence in myself and my body.

I have never experienced any of this on previous attempts.

This…weight loss surgery…was the right tool for ME.

After last month’s experience, I also learned something new.  Despite my attempts at non-nonchalance, the remembrance of the day I came home from the hospital does matter to me.

It is a natural benchmark.  But, there is no requirement for me to have any emotional investment whatsoever.  I certainly do not need to be freaking myself out with goals, celebrations, photos, or anything else.

After last month, I decided I didn’t want to do that to myself again.  So, I didn’t.

This month instead of piling a heap of expectations on the day I barely let it register including moving my three month check up from the day before ‘the day’ to the week after.

You know as well as I do had I driven to Las Vegas the day before my body would have swelled up like a toad.  It always does.  Bodies with chronic venous insufficiency do not like to be captive in a car.  I would have stepped on the scale the next morning feeling defeated.

Seriously, who needs to ‘celebrate’ what has become a very positive step in recapturing my health with feeling betrayed by one’s own body?

Not this girl.

Not any more dammit!!!

Instead I realized I am super close to some milestones and so I tightened up my eating and made sure I was really holding myself to the line and I lost the most last week. 3.2 pounds, since lunch meat decided to go rogue in my guts.

Let me just tell you…

THAT FEELS BETTER!!!!

Not just because 3.2 pounds is nearly SEVEN TIMES what my non-wls surgery good weeks looked like but because I focused on what I could do.

Such a simple, subtle change.

I am now exactly one pound from losing 45 pounds since coming home from the hospital.

I have never, not even when I was lifting over 100 pounds in the gym, have I lose 45 pounds in a single year.  Probably not even in two years.

Then I’m exactly 8.6 pounds away from achieving my lowest known adult weight.

In between, there’s the 50 pound milestone.

It’s not just the poundage.

I’m down 3.4-percent body fat too.

For most people, you need to lose 7-12 pounds of body weight to lose 1-percent body fat.  What that means is I am losing mostly fat and retaining my metabolically active tissue aka muscle.  What that means is even though some people might call weight loss surgery the ‘easy way out,’ I am managing to keep my body’s metabolism from being destroyed by rapid weight loss (Have you seen the Biggest Loser studies?)

And, I sashayed into Old Navy on Friday and could zip every single pair of size 18 jeans I pulled even though while in the act of pulling them I was steeling myself for disappointment.

No more ‘big girl’ clothes!!!!!

I did take a peek at my measurements a few days ago but stopped when I saw I had lost over an inch from my waist since my last check three weeks ago.  I was trying to surprise myself…and I did…but now I want to wait until the day before my check-in for the full surprise.

I owe myself that much.

Do you know how crazy cool that feels to know and accept it too?

Adoring Your Body

 

 

Here Fishy Fishy

Yesterday I went swimming.

Yesterday I went swimming for the first time since our Princess Cruise to the Mexican Rivera last March.

Last March 18 I made the goal to go swimming onboard the ship.

Last March from the moment I ducked my head under the water and pushed away from the prickly concrete side I felt a big part of me swish to life.

Last March submerged in the Neptune Pool I decided swimming needs to be a permanent fixture in my life.  I missed it.  I knew it.  It was time to bring it back to me.

When the community pool at home opened less than two months later, I quivered wet and cold with fear over the thought of keeping that promise to myself.

I shivered for exactly 444 days.

Yesterday I was no long afraid.

Okay, I was sick and tired of being afraid.  There is a difference and I need to make sure I properly acknowledge it.

So yesterday I went swimming for the first time in exactly 444 days.

A curious thing happened. As my flip flops were clip clopping closer to the water’s edge I realized I had precisely zero fucks to give about what anyone thought of me or my body.

Yesterday as my body made the transition from land to water I felt the same swish of me returning to me the moment I was free of the ladder.

Ahh.

Yesterday I even laid out in the sun.  Twice.  Let me assure my milky white legs desperately needed to see the sun but my soul needed to be one with its light and warmth.

And one I was.

I remembered who I am.  Again.

The me I was before I wasn’t was a fish.

The me I was before I wasn’t actually looked forward to a new swimsuit each year.

The me I was before I wasn’t actually spent so much time in the sun I had body tan lines the year I picked the multi-color and white striped suit.  (Who knew you can tan through the white stripes on your swimsuit?  Surely not the diagonally stripped me that was.)

Today, I guess I could beat myself up for letting go of the me who was before I wasn’t or for holding her back another 444 days.

But, I’m not.

Today, I can’t wait to go swimming again.

And again.

And again.

I am a fish and I am glad I remembered.  Again.  After 444 days.

 

 

 

 

Un-Goals

On 7 January I started my, My Fitness Pal, account.  I had been faithfully using Fitday for over a decade but it had become a reminder of all the failing-to-lose past I knew I needed to break from it and start fresh.

On that presumably blustery day in January, I put in a goal weight even though I am NOT interested in being any one number on the scale. Ever.

But, it’s a number. It’s something to shoot for and something to mark my progress against. And, today I am so glad I did I let myself believe, if just for a moment, that number would be possible.

Because…

Today when I logged this morning’s scale wiggle in My Fitness Pal, it told gave me a celebratory message to announce I have made 51-percent of the progress toward that goal-but-not weight.

I’m just shy of my 3-month appointment.

Okay, let me pause and let that sink all the way in.

Blinking hard.

Disbelief.

Shock.

Surprise.

Amazement.

Wet-eyed smile.

Never. In. A. Million. Years….Did I think I could get to this point this fast.

Honestly, even sitting in my surgeon’s office four months ago I did not really believe having weight loss surgery was going to work.

I didn’t believe it.  But, I knew I had to try.

I am so grateful I found the courage and the oomph to try as hard as I have with everything else I have tried.

(In case you’re a new reader…I’m really only interested in having a healthy body fat percentage and for women my age it’s between 10-32 percent.  But scales are readily available in doctors’ offices so I have to at least be friends with the number they show me.)

And She Slows Down Long Enough To…

Tell you…

IT DID HAPPEN!!!

The morning of my nutrition class, 3 May 16, I hit…

228.4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh, huh.

Oh yeah.

Can I get a woot, woot?

Happy Dance.

However…

Traveling to Las Vegas on the third set off a firestorm of busy.

My hubs business took another leap forward, with my amazing help, and we’ve been scrambling to put our ducks in the proper, proverbial row.

Hubs is locked up tight at his weekend job so I’m going shoe shopping.

I wore my black loafers with the denim skirt I wore on our first date.  I am about falling out of them both.  Oh and I’m wearing my black knee high compression socks.  Yeah.  With a skirt.

I must say it’s not a look I would not have pulled for myself but I have happen to become fond of it.  The mini-ish skirt, the knee highs, and the loafers just work with my lower half.  I guess maybe I have to admit the compression socks are mostly responsible for pushing me to it.

Could it be I actually have to admit I like them?

“Umm, No.”

*Laughing Hysterically*

But, my daughter also agreed it’s a look that just works for me so maybe, just maybe, I do need to stop being such a snot about the ‘evil’ stockings and appreciate their place in my life.

Although, one of my goals is to no longer need them.  Ever.  Again.

Socks and compression aside we found a rockin’ and totally me pair of Adidas at Ross.

IMG_20160507_101425[1]

Shoe shopping aside…

It’s been a long busy week of being outside of my routine which means I haven’t been as on top of taking my water pill as I ‘should’ be.  Sigh.  Of course, this means the scale is inching up and I need to take the day to stick close to home.  And, that ‘should’ word is dogging me again.

Should is an asshole who is only there to bring me down.  As much as I know that I’ll be damned if I didn’t start ‘should-ing’ myself into feeling bad about how the week played out.

No.

Stop.

This has been a GREAT week.

Busy, yes.

But part of figuring out my new life is learning how to make everything work.  Because sometimes it is road trips, unexpected blessings which bring bigger To Do lists, and on the extra special weeks it is also polka dotted sneakers.

It’s about learning when to say ‘YES’ and when to say ‘I need to do this for me (even though I have other things I ‘should’ be doing’), it’s wearing compression socks, taking water pills, and holding still enough to eat slowly, finding time to write, using a timer to remember to drink and having snuggle time with my doggies.

I found a way to have it all this week.

Feels good!

 

 

 

Week 13–Tools…Use All The Tools You Can

So I’m going to try to keep this short (I know, I know I say that a lot).  It’s been a LONG day and I was supposed to be taking a break from working on my novel to read to get a real good feel for chapter construction but that didn’t happen.

In fact, nothing went according to plan today.

Sigh.

Let me get the uncomfortable part out-of-the-way first.  I passed on signing up for the gym.  The math–doing the math–between my check and the bills just didn’t add up.  I hate admitting that.  Like REALLY hate admitting it.  But, it’s also the truth.  When there’s $60 leftover after the bills got paid, using $43 of it for the membership fee and first month just doesn’t add up.

However, I came up with a compromise with myself.  A day pass to the pool just up the street from me is $5.  My goal is to go at least once before the end of the month…even if I have to save change to do it.

I also need to get out and walk more because….

BECAUSE….

My measurements have basically stopped changing for the past six months.  “Basically” means they bob up and down within a quarter of an inch from week to week.

However, the big picture…the real picture is I am bigger inch-wise than I was on last 26 May when I weighed 8/10 of a pound more than I did yesterday.

A year ago I weighed a little more but was smaller than I am now.  The softness of my muscles explains it all.  I need to give my body more resistance so it will shrink.

It’s not just the tape measure either.  I have pants that do not fit despite weighing less.

But…

Of course there’s a but…

I do have good news.

If you remember this post from last year, you’ll recall the doctor tested my body fat at 48.5%.

One of the bills I paid instead of getting a gym membership was a new scale.  Since it was one or the other, I splurged and found a deluxe model that also tests body fat percentage.  If it can be believed–and I have to believe in something right now for my own weight loss sanity–I now have a body fat percentage of 44.4%.

Listen, it’s been rough.  There’s no sight of relief in the immediate future so I have to count this as a win.  Besides, this is my scale moving forward so I have this as my start point.

This super duper scale does confirm one of the other results from my doctor’s visit: I have a higher than lean body mass.  It’s what is helping me lean (all pun intended) toward the lower body fat percentage being accurate too.

Having a healthy weight also needs to include your body composition.  You can be thin and still have a too high body fat percentage.  You can also weigh too much but have an acceptable body fat percentage.  This is why the BMI scale is faulty since it does not take these variations into account.

Honest to goodness kiddos, it was enough to pull me out of the post vakay funk I’ve been in.  Maybe it’s wrong but it worked for me.  That funk wasn’t any healthier than excess weight; I promise you that.

Oh yeah, I’m also 2/10 of a pound LESS than I was on the morning of the cruise.

Can I get a WOOT, WOOT?

That’s THREE POUNDS since I came home and 6/10 of it since last week and now I’m less than I was before I left which means I’m into the random 12 pounds.  Relieved!

If you’ve been following along at all, you know this much weight in two weeks is a big deal for me.

The scale, the tape measure, body fat analysis, and clothes are all tools.  Weighing Healthy is about using all the tools you have to give yourself the most accurate picture of your health.  All the tools.  Being real, being accountable is also crucial.

First Week–Ring In The New, Remember The Old

It has been a pain-filled week.  Weeks like this make losing weight with fibromyalgia even harder…not impossible…just harder.

I did lose two pounds.

I did NOT exercise (what you would think of as “exercise” anyway) for even five minutes all week.

I do stretch multiple times a day.  Plus several years ago I started building movement into my normal routine.  If able, I park a few extra spaces from the door.  I make sure and move every hour or, at most, every two hours.  I look for opportunities to get an extra step or two every chance I get.

As for food, my man and I are having a struggle.  He’s normally a SAINT but this week he’s been trying to feed me carbs when he knows it’s low carb day and tempting me with Cherry Coke (my favorite Reward Day beverage).  We even had a little tiff about it.  We rarely have tiffs about anything.

Lesson: Your support system is going to fail you at times so decide now what you are going to do when it does.

Between you and me, he’s off the healthy eating track and instead of doing something about it there seems to be an effort to pull me off.  I confronted him about it and he says that’s not the case but garlic bread and Cherry Coke are louder.  He says he supports me.  And he does.  He says I am happier when I’m Carb Cycling.  And I am.  But, when the garlic bread comes with, “I know it’s low carb day but…” then there’s more going on than he is admitting.  Because I am aware of it I can almost not take it personally.

However, there’s another thing I needed to be on guard about.  The more he tried convincing me that I “needed” those carbs–no human ever “needs” soda–the more I could feel myself wanting to restrict them even further.  It’s an old, super old behavior that hasn’t been an issue in my life for so long I cannot even remember the last time other than to say my teenage years.

Lesson: Everything you think you have conquered will show up again.  You can either see it as an excuse or a moment to shine.  It is up to you to decide which it’s going to be….and if you pick excuse then hold yourself accountable and pull yourself back on track. 

In my family food was used as a means of control.  I once changed my mind about pancakes but since they were already made I was forced to sit at the table until I ate them.  I ended up sleeping there.  I did not eat the pancakes.  There was also the ever popular, “If you do something good, you can have (junk food).”  But by far the one I fought against the most was, “There are starving children in China” argument.  Even as a pre-teen and teen I could clearly recognize food as a weapon.  It is what lead me to disordered eating and trying so desperately to be an anorexic (weak gag reflex but I exercised up to five hours a day to compensate).

All of that control, all of that battle mentality rushed back the more my husband tried to feed food I do eat but never on LC day.  However, as I recognized the rush of memory and remembered where I had been and how when I started this journey 12 years ago I vowed I would never resort to extreme tactics or to weaponize food; I could find a sense of calm.

That Cherry Coke has been waiting in the refrigerator since Wednesday.  It’s Reward Day today and I’ll drink it when I am ready to enjoy it.

Lesson: No matter if you use Carb Cycling or not, build moments into your plan when you are allowed a little something sweet or special.  For YEARS I thought this was a lame excuse by food addicts to cheat.  The truth is Carb Cycling a la Chris Powell has taught me for my wonky Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis metabolism Reward Day is CRUCIAL to keep my body from shutting my weight loss efforts down. 

Aside from that my food hasn’t been great this week.  I had one day where I had three protein bars to avoid eating “bad” food and because I ended up extremely busy and unprepared.  Three protein bars are always better than junk food.  But having a day that caused three protein bars is a signal my life was off-balance and that’s not good.  Honestly, pain and her accompanying sleep issues were part of the equation.  I woke up late: protein bar.  My schedule backed up: protein bar.  I needed something healthy but not filling: protein bar (but had I eaten normally during the day I wouldn’t have felt the need).

The best thing about my week: finding unsweetened, flavored seltzer water.  I have been drinking one, 1-liter bottle a day.  I HATE water.  Light bubbles and a hint of flavor make all the difference in the world.

Lesson: No matter how much you think the week has sucked find just one thing to pat yourself on the back about.  Losing weight with fibromyalgia and thyroid disease (or whatever you are dealing with) is hard enough.  Find that one thing and congratulate yourself for getting it right.  You do not need to be perfect to lose weight.  Just incredibly honest.

Here’s my best advice when fibro is kicking your butt, your support system isn’t playing nicely, old bad habits rear their ugly head, and when you just feel like you can’t do it:

Eat Like You Love Yourself